I am not my brother’s keeper…

You’ve probably heard that phrase before, right?

Well, let me tell you, a lot of people feel that way in real life.

And this woman is one of them.

Check out her story below and see what you think.

AITA for refusing responsibility of my autistic brother after my parents die?

“I (19 F) have a younger brother (17 M), we are both autistic but this post will mainly be about his experiences.

Over the years due to our respective autism traits and just overall diagnoses being incredibly different from one another our parents adapted different parenting styles for both of us in order to better suit our individual needs, but now that I’m older looking back it seems this was rooted in not only favoritism towards my brother but also favoritism because he was a boy and at the time (and even still) there wasn’t a lot known about autism in females.

Keep in mind there is a three year gap between my diagnosis and his and during those three years is when autism started to become a lot more prevalent and openly talked about more (for boys, not girls)

My brothers autistic traits in his early years were a lot more socially acceptable at this time, limited interests in things like animals and cars, sensitivity to noise lights and textures that people were more than happy to accommodate for.

She thinks she’s been given the short end of the stick.

Again I truly believe this was just an extension of double standards with boys and girls as a whole, when I would become visibly overstimulated in places my parents would say “she’s just being dramatic” but made all their friends and family accommodate for his sensory needs.

Due to his autism being “easier to cope with in early childhood” my parents never felt the need to set any boundaries with him, he was almost never punished even when he acted out at school, in a sense my parents were incredibly permissive with him and to him at a young age, they basically taught him without ever directly saying that because he’s autistic he can get away with quite literally anything as long.

Yikes…

This continued all through middle and high school where he was babied by almost every teacher, para, admin etc. even as his behavior became increasingly more challenging as he got bigger and stronger than my parents and other adults.

If a teacher even mentioned penalizing my brother, my parents would raise hell with the administration, however when I had a teacher say in front of me “she’ll likely drop out of high school one day” my parents didn’t believe me.

Again as much as I don’t like to point to this I still think much of this favoritism comes from him being a boy and not to mention my mother made my brother the poster child for Autism Awareness in our community and had held that image together up until he got to middle school but never told a soul outside our immediate family and friends that I was autistic.

She did a great job, despite the circumstances.

Even though I felt neglected at times I was somehow able to rise above the negativity that plagued my childhood when I got to high school and graduated with honors.

Fast forward a year later I’m attending a prestigious university in my home state a few hours from my hometown pursuing a career in business administration.

My brother, now 17 is going into his senior year and needless to say I’m terrified for his future.

I was always encouraged to look out for him but now I’m being told when I ask about what his plans for his future are he tells me a different thing depending on the day, which is fine he’s 17 he doesn’t have to have it all figured out at the moment, I sure don’t.

Her parents are kicking the can down the road.

However when I ask my parents anything regarding what they want me to do if he’s still under their care when they die/ become unfit to care for him they simply tell me, “we’ll figure something out” but never say what something is.

He’s a smart kid, entitled but smart and has a lot of potential to do something great and if my parents didn’t shelter him from the outside world so much, give him unrestricted internet access and just overall raise him the way they did we’d be in a very different situation.

As his older sister I feel a sense of obligation to make sure he’s okay but at the same time I have no desire to let him live under my wing rent free, my parents chose to have him, this is their doing, they need to figure it out I just hope he’s okay in the end I only want the best for him but I don’t know what that is , I just hope before my parents pass away I do.”

Now let’s see what readers had to say about this.

This person said she’s NTA.

Another reader agreed.

This individual spoke up.

Another Reddit user offered some advice.

And this person said she’s NTA.

She doesn’t think this responsibility should fall on her.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.