Group dynamics can be complicated, even among old friends. No one likes to feel left out, but sometimes there’s bound to be exclusion.

Like in this story, when two friends decide to take a trip together… but a third wheel feels left behind.

Are they wrong for excluding the friend from their trip, or is the friend overreacting?

Let’s travel deeper into this one.

AITA: I didn’t tell one of my friends that I’m going on a duo trip with another friend outside of the country

My friend Anne and I have been close since high school.

We’re in a group chat with five other friends from the same time, and we all stay in touch regularly.

Back in January, Anne and I planned a trip to Cambodia—just the two of us.

Everybody knows there are subgroups among friends, right?

We didn’t invite the rest of the group because we already knew they wouldn’t be able to join due to school or work.

Also, we felt that if we invited them and they declined, we might feel guilty or pressured to cancel.

The flights were part of a promo that only lasted a week.

Most of our friends still live with their parents and can’t make last-minute decisions, so we booked quickly without waiting.

What are OP’s other rationales?

Another factor was compatibility.

Anne and I have very similar travel styles. We’re both early risers, love trying new food, enjoy hiking, and tend to be more “travelers” than “vacationers.”

For a culture- and history-rich destination like Cambodia, we didn’t want the trip to become centered around shopping or slower-paced activities.

How will the group react?

When we finally told the group a few weeks ago, everyone seemed happy for us. They wished us well and told us to enjoy—no one appeared offended.

Except for one friend—let’s call her Ella.

Ella took it badly.

She’s had personal struggles for a while now, often talks about feeling isolated, and tends to go no-contact when upset.

Ella is really upset.

She messaged Anne privately, saying she felt betrayed and compared us to a past friend group that hurt her deeply. She also said she needed space to avoid saying something she’d regret.

Ella had previously mentioned wanting to travel, though nothing was ever concrete. We didn’t bring up our trip when she talked about hers because we really wanted this to be a duo experience.

There are several reasons they didn’t want to invite Ella.

To be honest, traveling with Ella can be difficult.

She’s not great with planning, doesn’t enjoy early mornings, gets tired easily, not very patient, a picky eater, and tends to shut down when stressed.

When she does adjust to the group, she often ends up in a bad mood, which affects everyone.

Despite all that, I care about her. I’m worried this could damage our friendship permanently. She has shared dark thoughts during hangouts like feeling depressed and I know she’s been struggling for a long time.

She doesn’t like being Ella’s stand-in therapist.

It’s just that every time we hang out, she always unloads and it’s honestly been affecting me alot.

Like it’s come to the point where I feel like I’m becoming her personal therapist and I can’t unload on her because she’s “too depressed to hear it.”

I’m reaching out for advice.

Were Anne and I wrong not to include her? Should we reach out to her now, or give her space? If we do reach out, how can we approach it gently and with care?

At least OP is trying to be considerate. But Ella’s feelings are hurt and there’s no way around that.

What do the comments on Reddit think?

One person says Ella clearly alienates people.

Another person says, stick to the plan.

This person says, don’t travel across the world with someone who hates everything.

This poster is like, noble friendship, bad travel buddy.

Bon voyage… or not.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.