The thing about hyphenated last names is that it’s a tradition that has to end at SOME point.

We can’t just keep generally adding name after name – we’d have to start putting our driver’s licenses on scrolls.

So there’s a lot of decisions that get made on that subject every day.

But they don’t always make people happy.

AITAH for dropping my moms name in my hyphenated name when I get married?

I currently have a hyphenated last name that Ive never liked.

Its a 5 syllable mouthful that forms almost never have room for.

Its also just makes my full name way too long.

My fiancee and I are getting married next year and she doesnt have a great relationship with her parents so is excited to change hers.

She would be ok with the full hyphenated name but agrees its a lot.

Ive been thinking about it a lot and decided that I think we should both just go through the hassle of changing our names at the same time and I want to drop my moms family name.

And why is that?

There’s a few reasons for this.

Main reason being that Ive always been way closer to my dads side and it just flows better with both of our first names in our opinion.

My moms name is very german sounding and neither my fiancee or I look German at all or have first names that flow well with it.

It sounds very out of place with the rest of our names.

My mom didnt keep her name for feminist reasons but because she’s an only child and didnt want her name to “die out”.

I just dont really identify with it much.

So, there are a lot of reasons mentioned, but the most prominent seems to be a simple lack of connection.

I just have my grandparents on that side and because we didnt grow up in the same area we’ve never been that close.

They never really tried to be close with me and my sister either, never called us, babysat, got us things or visited for birthdays, graduations, etc.

Meanwhile my dad has 4 siblings and I have a lot of cousins on that side that Im tight with and we spend a lot of time together so Ive just always identified with that side more.

So I’d rather just take that side’s name.

It hasn’t gone over well.

We told my mom recently and she was really upset. She thinks what we are doing is extremely offensive and a slap in the face.

I dont mean any disrespect, I just really hate my name and we both think my “dads name” will be a better family name for the reasons above.

Let’s see what the comments say:

Still, many were understanding.

It was less a “one of you is wrong, one is right” thing…

And more of an “everyone’s feelings are valid” situation.

Here’s to a hopeful happily ever after.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.