Money and family rarely mix without someone getting upset.

What would you do if your partner’s family made financial decisions on your behalf without asking? Would you keep going along with it? Or would you respectfully draw a boundary, even if it meant upsetting someone?

In this story, one man finds himself in this very predicament and decides that enough is enough. Here’s what happened.

AITA for setting boundaries with my husbands family?

I am a 35-year-old man, and my hubs (30) and I have been together for a little over two years.

I am close with his family, and he’s close with mine. I have never been in a relationship where I am close with my partner’s family, so this was great.

They go out a lot for dinners and lunches, and we go with them. We always have fun, but when it comes to paying, it can get very expensive.

For example, we went out with the hubby’s grandfather for Father’s Day, and the bill was $400 and change, including a 50-dollar tip that was not deserved by the waiter (he was terrible, handing bowls of boiling soup across the table to the grandparents).

Of course, we never argue with him; we just go and pay.

It all started over a text he thought was pretty respectful.

Now, back to this weekend, we are going to a graduation party for my husband’s cousin, and his mother decided that we need to give her 100 bucks for the gift because his sister is giving 100, and she is giving 200.

I hate when other people make decisions about our money.

She didn’t even ask how much we could give, so I sent them a message (keep in mind we pay the car insurance for my hubby and his mom).

Here’s the message verbatim: “Hiiii, Money is sent. Going forward, please consult us when it comes to money decisions. Shaun and I run a very tight budget, and we need to make sure we can actually cover anything before it’s decided.”

Upset, he has excused himself from all family gatherings.

His sister flipped out on me, telling me how dare I talk to the mom like that, and that I control my husband because he does a lot of favors for my family, and saying that I am an embarrassment as a husband. And saying horrible things about I don’t respect my husband and that I’m disrespectful.

I thought the message I sent was very low-key and just about setting boundaries.

I told the hubs that I would not be showing up to the cousin’s graduation party or any other family events, but that he could go if he liked. I would never do anything to separate him from his family.

AITA?

Wow! That sounds like a huge misunderstanding.

Let’s see what the readers over at Reddit think about what happened.

This reader feels his husband should’ve talked to his family.

Here’s a great point.

As this person explains, no one should tell anyone else how to spend their money.

For this reader, it was never going to end well if he handled it rather than his husband.

This was better left to his husband.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.