Helping others often comes with complicated choices.

This woman was asked by her father to help his longtime maid find new work after he decided to move abroad.

She refused because she wasn’t really impressed with the maid’s work ethic and performance.

When she told this to her father, he called her petty and cruel.

Read the full story below for all the details.

AITA for not helping my father’s former maid find a new employer?

My father is moving abroad in about a month.

I moved out of his place years ago and have been busy lately.

So I haven’t been able to help him pack or anything.

Every now and then, he’ll ask me to help “in small ways.”

Whenever I can, I do.

This woman was asked by her father to help his former maid.

Recently, he asked me to either employ his former maid or recommend her services to someone I know.

She’s an older woman who worked at my father’s apartment for 10 years and has grandchildren.

So he wants to help her find someone else to work for.

He didn’t get any luck, which is why he came to me.

But she didn’t want to hire her nor recommend her to anyone.

I’ve chosen not to do either of the things my father asked for two reasons.

The first is that I don’t need a maid.

My husband and I live in a much smaller apartment, which we don’t have too much trouble keeping clean.

We have a toddler, so we’re not really focusing on tidiness right now.

But a maid still feels like a luxury, rather than a need.

She wasn’t pleased by the way her father’s maid worked.

Secondly, I never thought my father’s maid was good at her job.

Back when I lived with my father, most of the place itself always looked clean, but it almost never really was.

She’d never wash the cutlery or dishes properly.

And I’d find bugs in the drawers due to the leftover food.

She neglected a lot of the laundry, and some of our clothing would go missing due to that.

The maid wasted food, rearranged stuff, and criticized her and her sister

She’d throw food away without asking.

She’s rearrange things she’d been told not to.

She also criticized the way me and my younger sister would decorate our rooms.

She also declared one day she’d stop washing my and my sister’s underwear because one of us had “bled on it.”

That was understandable, but neither of us were on our periods the week she told us that.

She never interfered before because it was her father paying the maid.

None of that ever really bothered my father because the apartment always looked tidy.

He hardly ever cooked and he wouldn’t realize his clothes were missing until he found them.

Plus, she was always a bit more careful with his things.

I noticed it very early on, but since I wasn’t the one paying her, I didn’t interfere.

So, she was honest with her father that she didn’t want to recommend his maid.

According to my sister, those conditions continued after I moved out.

I’m not saying she was awful, but I wouldn’t recommend someone for a job if I didn’t think they were great at it.

Most importantly, I wouldn’t tell my friends to hire her.

I told my father I couldn’t recommend her to anyone because of all of the above.

Now, her father thinks she’s being petty and cruel.

He said I was being petty and cruel.

He said that since she helped our family for 10 years, this is the least I can do to pay her back.

My husband’s on my side, but I do understand how this could be seen as cruel.

My father is still upset. AITA?

Let’s check out the comments of other people on this story.

This is not your responsibility, says this one.

This user shares their personal thoughts.

People are saying the same thing.

Short and simple.

Finally, here’s a valid point.

Sometimes, honesty can be mistaken for being rude.

If you liked that story, check out this one about a 72-year-old woman was told by her life insurance company that her policy was worthless because she’d paid for 40 years. 🙁