October 19, 2025 at 1:55 pm

Her Son Struggled To Make Friends In High School, But Instead Of Supporting Him, She Offered Him Tough Love That Only Made Him Feel Worse

by Benjamin Cottrell

moody looking teen

Pexels/Reddit

The teenage years can be a treacherous time for building confidence and fostering friendships.

One high school freshman struggled immensely to connect to his classmates, but instead of empathizing with his heartache, one mother’s harsh words ended up just making him feel even worse about himself.

You’ll want to read on for the full story.

AITA For Telling my son he’s a doormat?

I (44F) have a high school-aged son. He started at a new high school for freshman year in a district he’d never been to before.

So, my son seems to have self-confidence issues.

Her son currently views friendships as rather transactional.

He thinks the only way he can make friends is to offer them something. He’s very skilled academically, so what he feels he has to offer is answers on assignments in class.

Like, last year, if literally anyone asked him for answers, he would give it up hoping they would like him.

Same with group projects. He’d be doing other people’s part of the project to make it “easier” on them.

So when he complained about this to her, she had some rather harsh words in response.

After school last week, he was telling me (complaining about) how all said people didn’t talk to him anymore even though they had talked in classes they had last year and thought they were friends. Or at least acquainted.

I told him if he’d stop being a doormat and trying to win people over with giving them stuff and getting nothing in return, he’d actually make some friends. I wasn’t trying to be rude, as this post seems to be.

He’s been pretty distant since.

AITA?

Tough love may be effective sometimes, but it doesn’t always work for everyone.

What did Reddit think?

This commenter doesn’t seem to think this mother took the right approach at all.

Screenshot 2025 09 03 at 12.40.45 PM Her Son Struggled To Make Friends In High School, But Instead Of Supporting Him, She Offered Him Tough Love That Only Made Him Feel Worse

This commenter suspects this mother could actually be contributing to the very issues she writes about.

Screenshot 2025 09 03 at 12.41.31 PM Her Son Struggled To Make Friends In High School, But Instead Of Supporting Him, She Offered Him Tough Love That Only Made Him Feel Worse

The first year of high school is tough, and this mom needs to understand that.

Screenshot 2025 09 03 at 12.41.58 PM Her Son Struggled To Make Friends In High School, But Instead Of Supporting Him, She Offered Him Tough Love That Only Made Him Feel Worse

Turns out, there are bullies at school and at home.

Screenshot 2025 09 03 at 12.42.50 PM Her Son Struggled To Make Friends In High School, But Instead Of Supporting Him, She Offered Him Tough Love That Only Made Him Feel Worse

This mother managed to turn a moment of guidance into a moment of doubt for her already self-conscious son.

She’ll have to work extra hard now to win back his trust.

If you liked that story, check out this post about a group of employees who got together and why working from home was a good financial decision.

Benjamin Cottrell | Assistant Editor, Internet Culture

Benjamin Cottrell is an Assistant Editor and contributing writer at TwistedSifter, specializing in internet culture, viral social dynamics, and the moral complexities of online communities. He brings a highly analytical, editorial voice to his reporting on workplace conflicts, malicious compliance, and interpersonal drama, with a specific focus on nuanced stories that lack an obvious villain.

As a published author of rhetorical criticism, Benjamin leverages his academic background in human communication to dissect and elevate viral social media threads. Instead of simply summarizing events, he provides readers with balanced, deep-dive commentary into why the internet reacts the way it does. In addition to his cultural reporting, he is an experienced fine art photography essayist and video game reviewer.

When he isn’t analyzing the latest viral debates, Benjamin is usually chipping away at his extensive video game backlog, hunting down the best new restaurants, or out exploring the city with a camera in hand.

Connect with Benjamin on Instagram and read more of his essays on Substack.