Shopping in the middle of the night is a great way to get what you need without the crowds, but sometimes, you also run into some crazy people.

What would you do if you were using the self-checkout when another customer at a regular register started yelling at you to come help her?

That is what happened to the shopper in this story, so he tried to tell her that he doesn’t work there, but she wouldn’t listen until he had to yell at her until the manager got involved.

Shopping for groceries at 3am to avoid people? Nope

Pertinent backstory: I have severe anxiety issues that can cause me a great deal of discomfort.

My whole body starts to shake, I get cold chills like I’ve got the flu, I get dizzy, my stomach gets so upset that it feels like I’m going to go into uncontrollable dry heaving fits and have explosive diarrhea.

This sounds awful.

But, because of other medications I’m on I can’t take benzodiazepines which, unfortunately for me, seem to me the only anxiety medications to even make a dent in these fits of anxiety.

I have no way of knowing what is going to trigger them, or when they’ll happen as they’re rarely over the same thing twice.

This, at least, is a good thing.

They happen infrequently enough that I can lead a more-or-less ‘normal’ life, but one of the things that definitely has triggered my anxiety more than once (at least since my therapist had me start keeping an anxiety journal/log) is trying to accomplish a task with a list of steps or objectives while dealing with a crowd.

(E.g. public speaking/performance, bartending, being a cook/chef in a restaurant setting, and the one most important to this story: grocery shopping)

And now to the actual story.

The time: 3am today The place: 24 hour grocery, we’ll call it Tarris Heeter

The cast: Me – well … That’s me, duh.

Karen with the “I want to speak to your manager” hairdo, but we’ll just call her K (but seriously why do they ALL have this haircut?!)

Employee – someone who actually DOES work there!

Shopping in the middle of the night is a great thing if you can do it.

So, I’m minding my own business doing my grocery shopping in a nice, big empty store save a small handful of employees restocking shelves. I get all of my items that I need (mostly just went for coffee, milk, eggs, bread, the essentials) and make my way to the front of the store.

This isn’t my first time shopping there at 3am, so the staff has gotten used to the quiet guy that does his shopping at an odd hour, and they also know that I use the self checkout so there’s no need to stick close to the only open register that requires one of them.

And here comes Karen.

I go to the self checkout and begin scanning my items. That’s when K comes walking up to the row of registers with a basket that’s overflowing with stuff to the point where she should be using an actual rolling cart, standing near the single lane with its light on signaling that the register is open.

She stands there for a minute or two while I’m scanning my stuff, and I notice she’s staring at me with an expression that I can only describe as if she were tapping her foot and pointing to a watch as if to say “hurry  up”, but with her face.

This is nice of him to try to help her.

Me: sorry ma’am, but self checkout really is the best way to go at this hour, the cashier is off helping stock shelves.
K, with a frustrated sigh: Well then why don’t you do it? You’re not doing anything important.
Me, taken aback: I’m sorry ma’am I can’—

You would know he doesn’t work there if you would just listen.

K, cutting me off: you can do whatever it is you’re doing when you’re done ringing me up. This basket is getting really heavy.
Me: I don’–
K, yelling now: Just ring me up! Or I’ll go find your manager and have you fired for being so rude to a customer!
Me, anxiety starting to well up inside: b-but–

Just shut up for a second.

K: Just ring me up!
Me, increasing volume a bit: I don–
K: Just ring me up!

Some people just refuse to let someone else explain.

This goes on for a few moments, me standing there stammering and sputtering trying to tell this insufferable lady that I. DON’T. WORK. HERE.

And she keeps up her yelling chant, until finally with the desperation to try to stave off a full on anxiety attack which would mean sitting in my car, shaking and trying not to puke, hoping desperately that it passes before any of my groceries spoil, I reach deep down inside myself and pull every bit of rage and hate that I have for all Karen’s, everywhere…

I would have loved to have been there to see this!

Me, bellowing like some giant bearded elder god of pure hatred: I DON’T ******* WORK HERE YOU STUPID ******* PIECE OF ****. USE THE SELF CHECKOUT LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING AND SHUT UP. IT’S 3AM, YOU’RE LUCKY THESE PEOPLE ARE EVEN HERE AT ALL FOR YOU TO BE ABLE TO SHOP!

It was between my rage-out, and her yelling chant that an employee within earshot came to see what was going on.

LOL, this employee is ready for anything.

Employee: Whoa, hey, what’s going on over here?
K, who is standing there with a shocked and galled “well-I-never!” look on her face, recovers quickly at the sight of the employee.

What, she still doesn’t realize he isn’t an employee!?

K: this rude cashier refuses to ring me up, and he even yelled at me! I want to see your manager!
Employee: I’m sorry miss, but he doesn’t work here.
K: Don’t give me that! I’ve seen him here before! Just last night he was walking around with a cart full of things, putting them away!

What a great customer.

(True. The night before, I went for the same items I was there for this time, but my card was declined because my paycheck hadn’t cleared yet, so after I found an employee to void my transaction from the self checkout, I decided to put my stuff back myself since they already had so much to do)

Employee: No, I’m certain he doesn’t work here. He must’ve been putting back things he decided he didn’t need.

No Karen, how about you just leave.

K: Maybe you’ve just never seen him before. Get your manager he’ll know who this man is.

Manager: I am the manager, and I can assure you he does not work here, nor has he ever worked here.

Finally, she gave up.

K, visibly deflating like a sad balloon still taped to a mailbox days after a kid’s birthday party: Oh. Well then, can you ring me up?
Manager: Miss, you can use the self checkout, right over there.

Currently there are five other self-serve registers open and working. (At this point, the altercation caused the self checkout to think I had left, so it suspended my transaction pending employee intervention to either void or continue it, so now I’m stuck waiting for their exchange to end so I can ask for help. I don’t mind, though, as I need the time to calm down anyway.)

Oh, come on lady. Stop causing trouble.

K: I don’t trust those things, besides the light for this register is on so that means it’s open, right?
Manager, clearly incensed: Fine.
The manager then turns to me…
Manager: Sir, is everything okay?
Me: Huh? Oh, yeah… Just that I need your help. I wasn’t finished yet and haven’t paid yet.

Karen isn’t going to like this.

Manager: I’m so sorry, give me one sec!
K: EXCU–
Manager, cutting her off firmly: No! You can wait 30 seconds while I help him with the self checkout.
K: See! That’s why I don’t trust those things.

She would never admit it was her fault.

The manager and I both chose to ignore that, as explaining to her that it’s HER fault would fall on deaf ears.
Manager, after fixing my register: There you go!
Me: Thank you so much. Sorry for all of this.
Manager: It’s not your fault… You have a wonderful morning. Spoken in a way that’s more sincere than I’ve heard one human being speak to another in a long time that I truly wanted to give her a hug.
Me: Same to you!

Returning your cart is always important.

So I take my cart out to the car and load everything in, and instead of leaving the cart in one of those cart return corrals in the middle of the parking lot, it was closer just to take it back to the store since the parking lot was so empty that I was able to park really close to the store.

I notice another stray cart and grab that one too. Big. Mistake. As I’m taking them back in, K is coming out.

Oh, come on. He is just a good customer. Maybe she should try it sometime.

K, seeing me pushing carts in the parking lot: I KNEW IT! I KNEW YOU WERE BOTH LIARS AND YOU WORK HERE! I’M GOING TO CALL CORPORATE AND GET YOU ALL FIRED!

I push the carts back inside and ignore her, get in my car and go home.

At least he is finally done with her. What a nightmare.

Read on to see what the people in the comments thought of her.

Thank you hairdressers!

This seems so true.

It’s like they don’t see uniforms.

Anxiety can be terrible.

This isn’t a bad idea.

Just let it go, Karen.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a customer who insists that their credit card works, and finds out that isn’t the case.