Welcoming a new member of the family is exciting, though some people really go overboard.

How would you handle being expected to constantly drop everything for trivial MONTHLY birthday parties?

One woman recently sought advice about this exact situation. Her sister-in-law throws a monthly birthday party for her new baby, and she thinks this is quite excessive.

Here’s what went down.

AITA for not attending monthly “birthday parties?”

I (F35) and my husband (Bob, M30) have been together for 5 years.

His sister (31), gave birth to a baby girl four months ago.

Since the big day, everything has understandably revolved around the baby.

A little odd even for a first-time grandma.

This is the first grandchild in my husband’s family.

Bob’s mother, Lucy (65), has been extremely attentive and involved.

While this is to be expected, the issue exists with demands for attendance to monthly birthday parties.

This family sure loves to party.

Yes, MONTHLY themed BIRTHDAY parties for an infant that always have gifts, food, decor, etc.

We have been told that gifts are not mandatory, however when we did attend we were the only ones who had not brought gifts.

(We spent hundreds on baby shower gifts. There were 5 showers.)

Grandma needs to get a grip.

As soon as we realized this would be a monthly affair, Bob and I decided we would not attend.

It has been made clear by Lucy, that we should be at each one to show our love.

She has expressed great disdain and anger when we don’t comply with her expectations.

She even had a tantrum while Bob and I visited after confronting Bob about our absence.

Bob has a good head on his shoulders.

He explained his personal reasons for not attending (concerns about an unhealthy amount of attention and expectation placed on his niece.)

My birthday took place this month.

The day of, I got a message from Lucy asking if I wanted to meet her for lunch to celebrate.

I of course said yes and met her at one of her favorite places to eat.

Uh oh.

I arrived and we sat down to eat.

Most of the lunch was spent catching up.

Lucy brought up the latest birthday party.

She asked if Bob and I were coming.

A good reason that won’t be good enough for Lucy.

I told her no and then tried to explain why I personally do not attend the monthly birthday parties.

I expressed concern about how my niece and nephew would view all the attention Bob’s niece was getting.

I don’t want to make my niece and nephew feel like I love or care about them less simply because they are further away.

Lucy interrupted by asking, I wonder how SIL feels about you not caring about her child and being involved.

She is an adult after all!

I quickly replied with, If SIL feels some type of way and wants to discuss it she can contact me and Bob however she sees fit.

To which Lucy said, She will never do that. She could never make a fuss about it.

I said, Then that’s her problem.

Lucy said, SIL would never do this to you and Bob’s kid.

What a conversation to be privy to.

I responded, She will never have to worry about something like this with us.

Lucy then got up and left the restaurant which had gotten uncomfortably quiet.

I grabbed the card she gave and told her thank you for the meal and card.

She left and I got to my car to inform Bob about what happened.

So Reddit, are Bob and I TA for not attending his niece’s monthly birthday parties?

Misery loves family. This family specifically. Let’s see how Reddit felt about this situation..

Everyone unanimously sided with the original poster.

Others asked for important context.

Most marveled at the insanity of it all.

A few dug for deeper meaning.

And one person offered a tangible solution.

It’s her granddaughter’s birthday, and she’ll cry if she wants to.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.