When your friends start making new friends, it can be hard to determine where you fit in.

So, what would you do if your friends slowly started leaving you behind as they made new friends, even though you’d been close for several years? Would you let it go because people grow apart? Or would you consider confronting them about your hurt feelings?

In the following story, one college student finds herself in this situation and is considering speaking up. Here’s what’s going on.

WIBTAH for confronting my friends because I am mad and hurt because they didn’t include me in another friend group they had?

So I (20 F) am in my 3rd year of college with my three friends, who are all girls.

I’m the introvert of the group. I’m not very social, and I have a hard time making friends. My friends know this about me and always have since we became friends in 1st year.

I still would say I’m friendly, but you just gotta approach me first in order for us to be friends. To anyone saying “just go and include yourself in their group,” it’s not that easy, especially for me, as someone who has a hard time communicating and making conversation with others.

When the group goes out, she doesn’t like to invite herself.

So about a few months ago, 2 of my 3 friends befriended a 1st year student who is a boy when they went on a school trip (let’s call male #1 O, male #2 K; my friends, female #1 J, female #2 C, and female #3 T).

So J and C grew close to O over the 3 days they were together. Then, a month later, they also became close with one of O’s friends, who is K. They became so close that they often would have long conversations with each other if they saw each other in the halls.

Then, not too long after, T also started becoming friends with them. Now, part of the reason why I didn’t want to become close with them is that these two boys are very immature, and it annoys me. And like I just don’t want to include myself if I’m not invited, yk?

Even when she’s invited, she feels excluded.

What bothers me, though, is the fact that not one of my friends even tried to include me. Like we would be in the classroom waiting for our next class, then one by one they would leave the room while I’m inside. Then, when I would go looking for them, they’re all outside talking, all 5 of them. At first, I really didn’t think much of it.

Then, during the first week of December, during our prep for our intramurals, they kept hanging out more. J and T visited K’s house one day because they were stranded due to the rain, then all 3 girls were constantly hanging out with the boys, and I wouldn’t be there because I would have to go home early because I get stomach pains and headaches a lot.

When I’m there, I’m just excluded from their convo and everything. I noticed at this point I was literally excluded, even if I was also standing amongst them.

Then, she found out about their other group chat.

That kept going until our intrams. I found out they had a different GC. I was confused about why they kept laughing at their phones, and it turned out they had a different GC, with 6 of them in it, because another classmate of ours had been added as well. Like ***?

Also, during that time, I noticed that the girls weren’t really talking to me. I also got left behind since they never told me anything. I would be there, but they wouldn’t say anything to me and just start walking, and I would have to catch up to them.

Like when I asked them to wait because I was still doing my attendance, and when I turned around, they were gone, and I had to look for them.

Then the next week, they started having fights because of a “misunderstanding.” And now they’re not friends anymore.

AITA?

Eek! It’s obvious that her feelings are hurt, but at the same time, they are adults.

Let’s check out what the people over at Reddit think about this whole situation.

These are words from a middle-aged introvert.

According to this reader, she should put more effort into it.

Here’s another person who comments on her effort.

This about sums it up.

You can’t have it both ways.

She either wants to be friends with them or she doesn’t.

If you liked this post, you might want to read this story about a teacher who taught the school’s administration a lesson after they made a sick kid take a final exam.