Two people can have differing opinions, but still have a civil discussion about them. Unfortunately that’s not what happens in this relationship.

Read a boyfriend’s point of view on their fights.

AITA for scolding my gf in front of our colleagues

My wife and I work in the same office. We ends the day at different times. Sometimes when we are having different opinions about a matter, she gets really riled up and her tone shifts for the worse.

This ticks me of because it makes me feel disrespected. She doesn’t use this tone towards anyone except for me when she gets in an argument and usually this happens in private.

He feels isn’t considering his perspective.

We were sitting in the coffee room with some colleagues when my wife tells me that she has been given a task that requires her to stay longer at work. This means that I will also have to wait for her since we drive together to work.

Because of this, it is of course in my interest that she does not work overtime, so I want to discuss whether it could be solved in some other way.

This is not about me wanting to overrule her, nor am I irritated at the moment. I simply want to ask whether she can plan the task differently during the day. I also want to be clear from the outset that this is not something I can or am allowed to help her with.

When I bring it up, she becomes irritated and shuts down right away, saying no. Then we start arguing.

The discussion gets pretty heated.

She raises her voice more and more, and eventually she is speaking loudly and in a very demeaning tone. I become angry and partly feel: why can’t we have a normal discussion without her getting so irritated?

At the same time, I notice that people around us are starting to feel uncomfortable. This makes me panic a bit, and I want to pull the emergency brake on our discussion, so I say, “We don’t need to talk about this anymore right now.”

However, she continues the discussion, at which point I raise my voice slightly and say, “That’s enough now,” while staring her down.

She immediately falls silent and looks away.

It’s a relentless cycle.

After that, we don’t talk much more for the rest of the day. When the day is over and we get into the car, she tells me that she felt overruled and controlled in the situation.

I respond by saying that I have no intention of resolving our conflicts in that way, but that this was my way of pulling the emergency brake because the discussion was about to spiral out of control.

She is still irritated, while I feel that my behavior in the moment was not entirely right, but at the same time, necessary.

Here is what folks are saying.

“A parade of red flags.” I love that and I agree.

He’s gaslighting her. Of course this is not okay!

Bingo! Note that in parts of the UK, “tea” also means dinner.

Self-owns are satisfying to read about.

YES to all of this. I’d be upset, too, if I was married to this guy.

This guy is living in a different time. Things are different now, thank goodness.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.