Being honest with friends sounds like the right thing to do, but it can really depend on the situation.

So, what would you do if a friend asked for your honest opinion about something they were clearly excited about, but your thoughts may hurt their feelings? Would you lie and tell them what they want to hear? Or would you give them your honest feedback?

In the following story, a friend finds themselves in this situation and opts to tell the truth. Here’s how it all went down.

AITA for telling my friend her hair looks choppy and uneven?

So earlier today, a friend of mine (23NB), “Miriam” (22F), posted a photo of her new haircut in the group chat with our friend group with the caption “Hi everyone, I got a new haircut. What do y’all think? Give me your honest opinions.”

Personally, the haircut looked uneven, and the layers were choppy, and I didn’t think it suited her. I didn’t want to tell her this because she seemed excited to share her new haircut, but I didn’t want to lie either, so I ignored the message. Everyone else complimented her on how good it looked.

An hour or two later, I sent a message in the group chat that had nothing to do with her hair (I mentioned a film festival coming up and asked if they wanted to go). Miriam replied to me with, “What do you think of my hair? You didn’t respond.”

When questioned, they didn’t know what to say.

I didn’t know what to say, being put on the spot like that, so I decided to just say “Personally, it’s not my cup of tea, but you seem to like it, so I’m happy for you!”

I expected that to be the end of the conversation. She replied, “What? Really? What don’t you like about it?”

I said, “I mean all that matters is that you like it, my opinion is irrelevant,” and she said, “No, no, please, I wanna hear it, I wanna know what doesn’t look right.”

Then, their other friend messaged.

It seemed like she genuinely wanted feedback, so I told her that, from my perspective, it looked a bit uneven in some places and the layers were a bit choppy, but again, just my personal opinion.

She didn’t say anything else.

Half an hour later, her girlfriend “Sarah” (22F) messaged me in private saying that Miriam is now crying and hates her new hair, and it’s all my fault because I pointed out everything I didn’t like about it.

They feel bad, but there’s nothing they can do.

She told me that I should have “just lied like everyone else” instead of making Miriam cry.

I told Sarah that I feel genuinely sorry that Miriam was crying and that I didn’t want to hurt her in any way. Sarah said that now Miriam needs to go to a hairstylist again to fix her hair, and it’s all my fault.

I said that I’m sorry to hear that and that she should think about it because she seemed to love it at first, but if she decides to get another haircut, I can recommend a good hairstylist.

Now, the other friend thinks they should pay.

Sarah replied, “Recommend her a good hairstylist? That’s all? How about paying for the new haircut? That’s the least you can do.”

I told her that’s a bit ridiculous. She said that I have a job and Miriam doesn’t, so it should be obvious that I would be paying.

I genuinely feel sorry for Miriam, and I’m sorry that my comment made her cry, but paying for a new haircut seems too much. At the same time, I could’ve lied to keep the peace like Sarah said, and even though I hate lying, it wouldn’t be that important a lie.

AITA?

Eek! That is a tough situation, but sometimes lying is easier than telling the truth.

Let’s see how the fine folks over at Reddit think they should’ve handled it.

According to this comment, real friends speak up.

This person thinks everyone was wrong.

Here’s some advice.

This reader is on her side.

A lie probably would’ve been better, but the friend did push, so she got what she asked for.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.