Imagine moving to the US from another country and deciding to buy a house in an HOA neighborhood without really knowing very much about an HOA.

If you have ever lived in an HOA, or if you’ve read very many nightmare stories about HOAs, you’re probably already realizing just how much of a disaster this would be. In fact, as I’m thinking about it, it would be a funny premise for a sitcom.

While it’d be funny on TV, in real life, it would be so frustrating. Unfortunately, in this story, one family is currently living this reality, and to make it even worse, they have a crazy next door neighbor who is blaming them for damaging her fence when they clearly weren’t responsible for the damage at all.

They’re very frustrated and have no idea how to handle this situation. Keep reading for all the details.

New to the US and HOA, neighbour has blamed us for something we didn’t do!

We’ve just moved to the US from the UK a few months ago, so this whole HOA setup is completely new to us.

Back home, if a neighbour had an issue, they’d just talk to you or at worst leave a passive aggressive note.

We’re still trying to understand what actual authority these things have (we haven’t had to sign anything from them at all yet??)

They have a crazy neighbor.

So far most folks have been quite friendly but there is one neighbour on our street that seems to watche everything, is really odd and noticeable! (Again would never happen in the UK). Always at the window, always noticing what everyone is doing.

It’s been uncomfortable, but we assumed it was just one of those things you ignore?

Last week, her fence was damaged, and genuinely there are clear tyre marks leading from her own driveway into it. No one else’s car was anywhere near it.

Somehow she’s decided we’re responsible and came to my wife and asked why she didn’t report it.

How frustrating!

We now think she’s reported it to the HOA, and without asking us a single question, they’ve taken her side.

We received an email about “respecting shared property boundaries” and were told to “reflect on our actions.”

No details, no evidence, just this weirdly aggressive email…

They asked a reasonable question.

We replied asking what exactly we’d done.

And they said there had been “multiple concerns raised,” but wouldn’t explain further.

FYI This is neighbour did previously complain about things like how our bins are placed, which already felt over the top compared to what we’re used to in the UK (plus literally in the same place they were when we viewed the house)

They didn’t sign up for this and aren’t sure how to handle it.

So, now she’s regularly walking past our house watching, and the HOA has arranged a “meeting” to discuss the issue.

We didn’t touch her fence. There’s physical evidence it was her own car. But somehow we’re the ones being treated like we’ve done something wrong, in a system we don’t fully understand and didn’t realise we were signing up to when we moved here.

Has anyone else moved from the UK to the US and dealt with something like this? How seriously do you actually have to take an HOA in situations like this?

I’d take pictures of the evidence they clearly see that the homeowner damaged her own fence.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about someone who asked their neighbor to move their fence off their property, then learned the neighbor was trying to claim their land as theirs instead.

Let’s see what Reddit suggests.

They should definitely take pictures.

Cameras are a good idea.

This person points out that nosy neighbors are everywhere.

I love this suggestion!

They got some great advice in the comments. I hope they do take pictures, install cameras and ask the other neighbors if they happen to have a camera that would’ve caught the neighbor damaging her own fence. If she’s this annoying to other neighbors, the neighbors would probably love the chance to help prove her wrong.

This family learned the hard way why many people hate HOAs.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a tenant who decided to stop returning his neighbor’s misplaced laundry after two years.