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Imagine having a friend in college who works for the college and has access to the admission files. If you found out that he was looking at your file and sharing what he found with other friends, would you think that was no big deal, or would you be really upset?

In this story, one college student is in this situation, and he’s really upset at his friend. He doesn’t want to get his friend in trouble, but he does want him to stop snooping in the files.

That’s when he decides to tell a supervisor, but he tries to do it in a way that won’t get his friend in trouble.

That didn’t work out so well.

Keep reading for all the details including why this guy has regrets years later.

AITA for reporting a friend to his supervisors without speaking to him first, which resulted in him losing his job?

When I was in college, I had a friend (J) who was a student employee. His job gave him access to admissions files of applicants and incoming students so he could answer questions about their applications. Files of current students were also visible to him upon a search.

A mutual friend (S) of J and I approached me and told me that J had been looking through my file as well as some others.

J told S and two more friends information about my grades in high school.

OP was worried and angry.

First I felt very angry, but then I became worried about what else might be available in those files – scholarship information, loan information, etc. (Sensitive information was NOT actually in the file, but I didn’t know this until afterwards.)

I also wondered who else could access my file if it was that easy for student employees to see it.

This is what made me decide to report the breach of privacy to J’s supervisors. I wanted the university to know that student employees were accessing files they probably shouldn’t be accessing.

I didn’t name him in the report, I just stated that a student employee had viewed my personal information and shared it.

But J still got in trouble.

The university figured out that it was J due to the digital footprint attached to his work computer.

They informed me that the system was being reformatted so that student employees could not access files without approval and there would be consequences for the “responsible party.”

I don’t know the full extent of what happened to him, but I do know that he lost his job and was barred from ever taking another position at the school.

Rumors circulated that he lost his scholarship.

J wishes OP had handled it differently.

He said that I ruined his reputation, and he was furious at me for not speaking to him first.

He admitted that he should not have looked at the files, but he was absolutely adamant that the situation could have been resolved with a simple conversation and that the school didn’t need to be involved.

Some of our friends reassured me that I had made the right move because, had I spoken to him, he would have had time to “cover his tracks.”

Others agreed with him and told me that I had been a bad friend by not giving him the chance to explain himself before I filed the report.

Bye, bye, friendship.

Our friendship was ruined.

I even lost a couple of friends who believed that my sole intention was to get him fired.

At the time, and even for months afterwards, I felt certain that I was in the right.

OP is having regrets.

However, lately, I have been thinking about him a lot and feeling very guilty for the results of what I did, even though they were not my direct intent.

I try to remind myself that I was just trying to protect my information, but I keep coming back to that first moment where I was so angry at him.

What if some little part of me DID want him to experience the consequences? The decision seemed so obvious at the time, but now I’m not sure.

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AITA?

It’s probably a good thing J got in trouble. If he hadn’t been snooping in the files, he never would’ve lost his job. He can try to blame someone else, but really, he’s just mad he got caught. OP did the right thing.

Let’s see if Reddit agrees.

A former supervisor at a university weighs in.

Another person thinks OP did the right thing.

J couldn’t handle the power.

Everyone thinks OP made the right decision.

I can understand feeling bad for feeling responsible for a friend getting fired, but really, the friend is the one responsible for getting fired. He did something he shouldn’t do and then got mad at OP for ratting him out.

When you have a friend doing something illegal, it’s not your responsibility as a friend to help them cover their tracks.

Losing this friendship is no loss at all.

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Author

Jayne Elliott

Jayne Elliott | Contributing Writer, Life & Drama

Jayne Elliott is a contributing writer and editor for TwistedSifter specializing in human interest stories, internet culture, and family dynamics. With over 12 years of editorial experience in digital publishing, Jayne excels at analyzing complex online communities and transforming viral social debates into thoughtful, highly engaging narratives.

Rather than simply aggregating internet drama, Jayne brings a sharp, empathetic editorial eye to everyday dilemmas. She has a unique talent for unpacking the nuances of pop culture and online conflicts, providing readers with relatable, well-researched commentary.

Based in California, Jayne spends her free time outside the newsroom exploring theme parks with her family or beach-combing along the coast.

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