The Tradition Crisis: How a Family’s Aggressive Name Campaign Backfired Into a Total Relational Standoff
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There are few things in life more exciting than having a new baby, but there is a lot that you have to do while getting ready for the little one to arrive. One of those things is picking out a name.
What would you do if your family is pushing on you very hard to pick a traditional Irish name, but you and your husband want something much more normal (in America), and not something that people will have a difficult time pronouncing?
That is the situation that the couple in this story is in, but the family is putting a lot of pressure on them, so they wonder if they are in the wrong for not just giving in.
Personally, I think they should put their foot down and make it clear that the name is not an option. Read through all the details below and see if you agree.
AITA for refusing a name for my baby that everyone loves and but I don’t?
I (27f) and my husband (28 m) are expecting our first child in the fall. It’s a girl! We’re both really stoked and have wanted kids for a long time now.
Having a baby is a very exciting event.
Ever since we decided to start planning on having kids, my husband has been using a joke, place-holder name for our baby.
He’s second generation Irish and he’s been calling our baby Siobhan.
I don’t blame her for not wanting this beautiful name.
He likes that it’s traditional Irish and, don’t get me wrong, it really is a pretty name but my major hangup is: we live in the US, we were both born and raised in the US, and the US is known to be kinda garbage at pronouncing traditional Irish names right, on the first try anyway.
I do not want to send my daughter to 12+ years of public education and have teachers, substitutes, and fellow students unable to say her name right on the first try.
Unique names aren’t always as great as they may seem at first.
My name is a pretty standard name here but it’s spelled differently because my dear sweet mother wanted me to be “unique” but all I got was grief for it.
Kids can be mean and I don’t want my kid to have a name that might get her bullied or cause her teachers to call her “Si-o-Bo-Han” (not at all how you’d pronounce it) every time they call her name in class.
Well, good thing it isn’t up to anyone else other than her and her husband.
The problem? EVERYONE is telling me that I TOTALLY need to use the name Siobhan. My own parents say that it’s pretty and unique (again with that word, Mom *rolling my eyes*) my aunt and cousins are saying “well, that’s what you call her anyway” (my husband does, I don’t) and my husband’s family gush over it too.
I’ve told everyone that it’s not what I want to go with, but it’s like talking to a brick wall!
Good, it seems that these two are on the same page.
My husband’s cut down on calling the baby Siobhan since he knows it’s not what I want and that it bugs me.
He’s told them that it was really just a joke name and he kept using it just to tease me (we have a very playful teasing type relationship. I’ve given as good as I’ve gotten in that respect).
The extended family is really starting to cross a line.
He’s said multiple times it’s not what we’re actually going with but things are starting to get out of hand. My mom and sister have already tried getting embroidered blankets with Siobhan ordered for the baby!
They only failed because they called me to confirm the spelling and I shut it down hard. Now they’re mad because I still can’t make up my mind on what I ACTUALLY want to name my daughter and I’m just a mess.
Absolutely not. Do not pick a name based on family pressure.
I’m pregnant, my head hurts, and…I don’t know. Am I just making a big deal over nothing?
Should I just name the baby Siobhan and get it over with or is this worth putting my foot down on?
AITA?
This is the reason why you shouldn’t tell extended family about names you are considering (even if you aren’t actually considering them). People think they have a right to weigh in on it, and they really don’t.
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Read on to see what the people in the comments have to say about this.
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A pregnant couple has enough stress without stuff like this.
This commenter says they know how to pronounce that name.
The decision is entirely up to mom and dad.
This is the right way to handle it.
Only two people get a vote.
When naming a baby, only two people get a vote. Other than mom and dad, nobody else’s opinion really matters.
The extended family is out of line for putting pressure on the happy couple. This couple should tell everyone to mind their own business.
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