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Living with a friend shouldn’t quietly turn into becoming their unpaid caregiver.

What happens when someone’s promised support system keeps failing and the roommate is expected to take over?

Instead of enjoying college, this student regularly leaves plans to help with personal care and basic tasks.

Read on for the full roommate dilemma.

AITA for subleasing my room with 1 month notice to my roommate

I moved into an apartment with my friend that has a disability.

Before we moved in together, she told me that she was independent and she has assistants to assist her with some ADLs on days she takes her shower.

Otherwise, she is able to do most other things herself.

This young woman is willing to help her roommate if it were just an occasional occurrence.

Her personal assistants have cancelled on more than one occasion, and she has put me in a position where I have to transfer her (when she is drunk) and shower her.

If this was a once in a while occurrence, then it would be alright.

But it is happening twice a week.

Now, she feels it’s a major inconvenience because she has to do a lot of stuff for her roommate.

We are both in college, and there are times where I had to leave a friend gathering because she was not able to do something like open her food or a drink.

She expects me to pre-open drinks but doesn’t tell me beforehand.

She expects me to just know, and when her food or drink is not pre-opened, she starts guilt-tripping me.

I have to leave everything I do to make her comfortable.

She decided to put her room up for sublease, but her roommate is pleading with her to stay.

I don’t want to spend my junior year like this, and decided that I am going to put my room up for sublease.

I recently told her, and she said I’m leaving her in a vulnerable position because she doesn’t feel safe living with a stranger.

Her parents have called and texted me pleading for me to stay, saying how unsafe it is for her to live with a stranger.

Am I being a jerk? I am starting to feel bad.

She didn’t sign up to be her roommate’s assistant.

Let’s find out what others have to say about this on Reddit.

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This user shares their personal thoughts.

You should also be honest, advises this person.

Here’s a valid point from this person.

Short and simple.

And lastly, here’s an honest opinion.

This student agreed to share an apartment, not provide hands-on care several times each week.

Her roommate’s family needs to arrange dependable help instead of pressuring a college student to give up her own life.

That lease never mentioned surprise caregiver shifts.

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Author

Chris Allen