She Asked to Crash for a “Few Months” for Her New Job—Only to Risk Transforming a Quiet Home into a Permanent Landing Pad
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I’d venture to say that most of us want to do our best to help out our family members…
But I’d also guess that when it doesn’t feel like a good fit or you think something might be off, well, you gotta trust your gut and make tough decisions sometimes.
In today’s story, a woman opened up about why she’s not too keen on letting her adult niece live with her family…because she has no idea what the timetable is.
Read on and see what you think.
AITA for Refusing to House My 25-Year-Old Niece After ‘A Few Days’ Turned Into ‘Maybe Forever’?
“My partner (51M), myself (47F) and our four kids live together (16, 16, 19, 20).
The kids go back and forth to their other parents as we are a blended family. We live in a 5 bedroom house in an established suburban neighbourhood in a large-ish city.
Last night my partner’s sister called and told us she had news and a questions for us. The news was her daughter (25F) has been offered a job in our city. They currently live across the country from us. She asked if her daughter could live with us when she comes here.
It sounded okay…
We don’t have any issues with family coming to stay on their vacation with us . We have a large walkout basement with a room that could be used as a bedroom with some work.
We have a hang out area our kids use in the basement with a tv and couches. There is a room that could be used as a bedroom (it has a proper window) but needs a door.
However, the bathroom is the one the two oldest share together so it wouldn’t be solely the niece’s.
I know we have enough space.
But…
What also I know we don’t have is tolerance for opened-ended guests. The ask started with could she stay here for a couple of days, then morphed to a month, then possibly three months as there is a probation period on the job.
This all happened within the span of minutes.
My partner’s sister said her daughter would “probably want her own place eventually”.
Oh, boy…
Excuse me what?! Eventually?
Staying here for one or two weeks, sure but for an undetermined amount of time is a bit much to ask.
She doesn’t cook much and can be picky with food. What she does eat and can cook we don’t keep in the house due to a food allergy one of our kids has. It would be okay if she had the food in the basement, but not in our kitchen. She may bring her dog and cat, two of the kids are super allergic so that is a deal breaker for us.
I really don’t know her well. I have met her twice and she has not talked to me either time. She came off as very aloof.
This doesn’t sound good…
Her family is very sparse and evasive with information. The date she is coming out keeps changing, where she works is a big mystery no one will divulge (even when flat out asked to share it), and so many things like if her boyfriend is coming or not or if she will drive out a car.
We both aren’t fans of subterfuge. There are no state secrets with this, especially if someone is asking to live with us.
Our niece is an only child who was closely parented. Her mum keeps tabs on her daughter and I don’t want to get involved with that. Our kids all have age-appropriate freedoms. We will not police a 25 year old and grill her comings and goings.
It isn’t our business. We feel like she needs to adult in this situation and we are not taking on a fifth child.
We don’t want to upset the rest of the family or cause any friction. Saying no will absolutely cause issues but living together might cause so many more.
AITA for not letting our niece live with us for an undisclosed amount of time?”
Reddit users shared their thoughts.
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This reader had a lot to say.
Another individual didn’t hold back.
This individual asked a question.
This reader said he’s NTA.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this postabout a man who thought he was staying with his brother for a month in his 1-bedroom Tokyo apartment, then got hit with a list of local hotels.
And another person agreed.
I’m with her on this one!
Her niece sounds like a bit of a space cadet.
This really doesn’t sound like a good idea…
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