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When you’re a kid, every birthday feels special and exciting. Because every year older is another excuse for a celebration, for a party, for cake and balloons and presents – a day when you are treated and celebrated, a day that is just for you. But as you get older and choose to spend your time and money on other things – perhaps on vacations, on remodelling your house, or on feeding, clothing, and treating your kids – days like your birthday feel gradually less important, and gradually less exciting. Because age is just a number, right? And getting older no longer feels like the big deal it once was.

Owing to the fact that she and her father shared a birthday weekend, however, the woman in this story always did something to celebrate their special days, even as she got older. But this year, her father passed away, so she already knows that this weekend that was always about both of them will be a difficult one. And to top it off, it’s a landmark birthday for her. So rather than wallow, she made plans that would make an event of it for herself, her husband and her kids – but now her mother in law’s plans seem destined to scupper hers.

Read on to find out more.

AITA for telling my mother in law that I won’t rearrange my 40th birthday trip for her family event?

I have a big birthday coming up, and all I want to do is take my kids and husband to Disneyland this January.

This is for my 40th birthday, and my first birthday since my dad passed away.

It’s going to be harder because my dad and I always celebrated our birthdays together.

My birthday is on the 9th and his was on the 3rd.

But as it turns out, her birthday plans were about to get more complicated.

The issue is, my mother in law is going to be out of the country for the holidays this year. She wants me to move my schedule around to have this big cousin event so all the kids can get together.

I gave her a couple options, and neither of them worked for her. To make it harder, it’s with cousins that my kids don’t really know. My husband and I aren’t close to his step siblings and we haven’t seen them in over five years.

Why should I change my travel and birthday plans for people who haven’t cared to reach out or spent any time with my family?

AITA?

Honestly, this time – even if family events are rare – this family are going to be skipping it.

Because they have plans, expensive plans, and if the family can’t move their visit then they’re not going to be seeing these guys.

Sometimes, things are more important and you can’t just let others walk all over you.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit thought about this.

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This person thought she should keep putting her foot down.

While others thought that she shouldn’t feel bad about it either.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman who can’t complete her work-from-home duties because her mom’s houseguest won’t stop talking.

Meanwhile, this Redditor thought that her husband should be dealing with his mom.

This is her birthday, and it’s their family trip to Disneyland. It’s clear that this past year has thrown a lot at this woman – not to mention her kids too, who just lost their grandpa – and they all deserve a treat. And that treat is planned and booked, and it is going ahead, no matter what spanners her mother in law tries to throw in the works. Because sometimes things are so important that it’s key you stand firm against folk who are trying to get in the way of them. And this is one of those things.

Sure it would be nice to see the extended family. After all, it’s always great to catch up with folk, and it would be nice for the kids to meet more of their cousins. But as this woman has explained, this particular weekend is undoubtedly going to be difficult for her, since it was a time that was special to her and her late dad. So she’s dealing with that in her own particular way, making an event of it rather than hiding from it. So no, these plans can’t change – and if all the family getting together is so important to her mother in law, she’ll need to change the date of the cousin’s visit. Because this isn’t going to work as it stands.

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Author

Kyra Piperides

Kyra Piperides, PhD | Contributing Science Writer

Dr. Kyra Piperides is a contributing writer for TwistedSifter, specializing in Science & Discovery. Holding a PhD in English with a dedicated focus on the intersections of science, politics, and literature, she brings over 12 years of professional writing and editorial expertise to her reporting.

Kyra possesses a highly authoritative background in academic publishing, having served as the editor of an academic journal for three years. She is also the published author of two books and numerous research-driven articles. At TwistedSifter, she leverages her rigorous academic background to translate complex scientific concepts, global tech innovations, and environmental breakthroughs into highly engaging, accessible narratives for a mainstream audience.

Based in the UK, Kyra is an avid backpacker who spends her free time immersing herself in different cultures across distant shores—a passion that brings a rich, global perspective to her writing about Earth and nature.

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