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When buying a home from a deceased relative’s estate, it is more than just a real estate transaction, it comes with a lot of emotions and other factors related to the family.

What would you do if you bought your husband’s late grandmother’s estate, but your mother-in-law expected that you would let her other son continue living there forever, even though you said that wasn’t happening?

That is what is going on in this story, and when they gave the brother-in-law notice that he had to get out, the mother-in-law freaked out and is trying to cause all sorts of problems.

Read through the full story below and see what you think they should do.

AITA for making my BIL move out after realizing my MIL basically pushed us to buy this house so she wouldn’t have to house him?

My husband and I bought his late grandmother Gertrude’s house from her estate.

They just let him stay living there?

My MIL “Carla” pushed us HARD to buy this specific house. Like, really hard.

My BIL “Kyle” had already been living in Gertrude’s basement for a few years before we bought it, and when we bought the house he just… never left.

Well, it is clear that she expects her son to stay.

There was never a conversation where my husband and I agreed that buying this house meant Kyle got to live with us indefinitely. We knew he was already there and obviously weren’t going to throw him out immediately, but we never agreed to permanently house him.

Now that the house is bought, Carla has gotten a lot more comfortable saying the quiet part out loud. She’s literally said she wanted “her kids to be set” and that she pushed for this house because she didn’t want Kyle to be “displaced.”

They were open about him not living there long term.

We have had multiple conversations about how long Kyle will be allowed to stay here, throughout the duration of the house buying process and moving in here.

The conflict is coming up because Carla didn’t expect us to put a timeframe on his occupancy or to stand our ground on it.

Why can’t Kyle live on his own?

So basically, she didn’t want Kyle living with her, (“If he comes to live with me it will ruin my marriage!”) and her solution was apparently getting us to buy the house he already lived in so he’d become our problem instead.

Every time we try to talk to her about Kyle moving out, she also suddenly brings up money.

That was generous of him.

My FIL “Bob” handled Gertrude’s estate and after the house sold, he received the seller’s proceeds check (the amount was less than 3% of what we’re buying the house for. Roughly equivalent to one of my husband’s paychecks on a slow week.) and gifted it to my husband, “as a housewarming present” (Bob’s exact words.).

This DOES NOT MEAN that we got a “free house”? We’re gonna be paying on this house for the next 30 years at least.

Carla seems to be trying to manipulate the situation.

There was no agreement that it was a loan or that we had to pay it back. Carla now insists we owe her that money and keeps using it to deflect from the Kyle situation.

I think part of her motivation to have us by the house was so she would get a payday ON TOP OF getting to shirk her responsibility to her grown child.

Why does she think she gets to decide these things.

She even recently tried telling us we could lose our house over it, which turned out to be completely false when I actually contacted the title company.

At this point we’re done. Kyle has been given formal notice to move out. Carla is furious because according to her, Kyle staying here was basically part of the whole reason she wanted us to buy the house.

Exactly, Carla is way out of line.

But that’s exactly my problem. That was HER plan. Nobody bothered to make sure it was OUR plan before we bought the house.

We have our own kids and our own family. I don’t think buying a house means unknowingly signing up to house another grown adult forever because my MIL decided that arrangement worked best for her.

AITA?

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Carla has no say in what these people do with their house, and that includes who they let live there. She seems very entitled and is just throwing a fit because she isn’t getting her way.

Read through the comments below to see what other people had to say about it.

What does the husband think about all of this.

This commenter makes a good point.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about an incoming college student who does not want to share their grandparents’ monetary gift with a medically complex sibling.

The mother-in-law does seem to have manipulated the situation.

This commenter thinks they should have waited to buy the house until it was all settled.

This should have all been discussed before ever buying that house.

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Author

Michael Levanduski

Senior Contributing Editor, Workplace & Community

Michael Levanduski is a veteran journalist and digital culture specialist with over 15 years of professional writing and research experience. While his background spans emerging technology and complex technical subjects, Michael specializes in analyzing workplace ethics, property disputes, and viral interpersonal dynamics across modern digital forums.

Since joining TwistedSifter in 2024, Michael has authored some of the publication’s most widely read coverage on corporate policy, malicious compliance, and neighborhood relations. Rather than simply aggregating online debates, he brings rigorous research, organizational context, and an empathetic editorial voice to everyday human dilemmas—transforming raw forum discussions into insightful, highly engaging narratives.

When he isn’t covering internet culture, Michael enjoys traveling, keeping up with tech trends, and spending time with his family. Connect with Michael on LinkedIn and Facebook.