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Planning high school graduation can be difficult, especially when you have a limited number of tickets that you have for the big event.

What would you do if you weren’t close to your stepmom, so you didn’t want to give her one of the tickets, but your biological mom said that you should just do it to keep the peace?

That is the situation that the young man in this story is in, but he has no interest in having his stepmother at the event since that would mean disinviting a family member with whom he is closer.

He doesn’t have to invite the stepmom, but he should talk to her (and dad) about it to try to avoid hurt feelings if possible. Read through the full story below and see what you think he should do.

WIBTAH if I didn’t invite my dad’s wife to my high school graduation?

Notice how I said my Dad’s wife, and not my step mom. I don’t see her in that capacity at all.

Divorce and remarriage can be very difficult for the kids.

My (18M) parents had a rough divorce, and my Dad immediately moved on and got married to his former high school gf (before my mom).

So, my dad’s wife was someone who was forced into my life without me wanting her in it. She doesn’t have kids, so she’s always clingy and trying to make it seem like me and my sister are her kids and we are this one happy big family.

This does seem inappropriate.

In my opinion, she is emotionally and socially a awful. She just doesn’t know how to act. Once, when they first got married, they had a get together and me and the kids were apparently making lots of noise, so she took us to a room and locked us in (she was inside with us).

She refused to let us out unless we vowed to not make any more noise (we were 6 and 7). She would love to add the fact that I got a lot of attitude for that because “she was just joking” and I “don’t know how to take a joke”. She just doesn’t know how to act.

At least he gained one supportive family member.

This is going to sound crazy, but I actually love her mother (my dad’s MIL). She’s stood by my side during a lot of problems and has called out her daughter’s behavior.

Now, my graduation is coming up. My mom thinks I need to invite her because I have previously stayed over at her vacation home, in addition to the fact that she doesn’t have kids and I am “the closest thing she’ll ever have to kids”.

It is hard to decide who to invite to these types of things.

Now, she and my Dad were very horrible to me in their first year of marriage, so personally, I’ve never liked her, and still kind of resent my Dad for the way things went.

I don’t have enough tickets to invite her anyway, in addition to the fact that even if I did I want to invite people that in one way or another raised me or helped my parents raise me, those include my grandparents, and my aunt and uncle (who one of which doesn’t have a kid and I’m the actual closest thing he’ll ever have to a kid, in addition to the fact that I share last name with him).

His mom is clearly trying to keep the peace.

My mom thinks it’s going to be very awkward for my Dad to leave the house to go to my grad, and for her to ask him and for him to reply and say [my name]’s grad.

I think it’s insanely inappropriate for her to be there, my mom is trying to avoid problems with my dad. But what business does she have being at the same event (concerning me) with my mom and grandma.

If he truly doesn’t have any extra tickets, how could he invite her anyway?

Personally, I don’t care about what people will think. I care about my happiness and the fact that I don’t want her there. I feel like I shouldn’t need to justify this to anyone and it’s my decision.

I probably need to get over a lot of the things that happened in the past, but that’s an issue for another day.

There is really nothing he can do. Hopefully her stepmother will understand.

Inviting her won’t change that. Just to add, if I wanted to invite her, I’d have to sacrifice inviting one of my aunts/uncles, which I’m not doing.

I’d rather not have a graduation then invite her. Also I wasn’t invited to their wedding.

It seems like he should have a talk with his dad and explain the situation. Yes, he needs to forgive his stepmom and get over it a bit, but this isn’t the time to sacrifice other family members just to have her attend the graduation.

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about this situation.

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Here is a stepmother who thinks it is fine not to invite his stepmom.

Not sure that this is actual abuse.

This shouldn’t be a big deal.

Here is a commenter who says it is his day and his choice.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about an incoming college student who does not want to share their grandparents’ monetary gift with a medically complex sibling.

This commenter has a great way to handle the situation.

He doesn’t have to invite her, but there is no need to be cruel about it either. Talking to his father and stepmom ahead of time and explaining the situation is important.

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Author

Michael Levanduski

Senior Contributing Editor, Workplace & Community

Michael Levanduski is a veteran journalist and digital culture specialist with over 15 years of professional writing and research experience. While his background spans emerging technology and complex technical subjects, Michael specializes in analyzing workplace ethics, property disputes, and viral interpersonal dynamics across modern digital forums.

Since joining TwistedSifter in 2024, Michael has authored some of the publication’s most widely read coverage on corporate policy, malicious compliance, and neighborhood relations. Rather than simply aggregating online debates, he brings rigorous research, organizational context, and an empathetic editorial voice to everyday human dilemmas—transforming raw forum discussions into insightful, highly engaging narratives.

When he isn’t covering internet culture, Michael enjoys traveling, keeping up with tech trends, and spending time with his family. Connect with Michael on LinkedIn and Facebook.