Their Wedding DJ Ambushed Them with a Forced Group-Hug Song—So They Hated Every Second of Being Cornered by Touch
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There are a lot of different traditions that people follow at weddings, and the happy couple can pick which ones they like the best.
What would you do if your DJ unexpectedly introduced a song where all the guests encircle the happy couple and then shout and give them a big group hug at the end?
That is what happened to the couple in this story, and since they are very introverted, they hated the tradition. They know that the DJ meant well, but it still made them very uncomfortable.
This is why DJs should go over decisions like this ahead of time. Read through the full story below and see what you think of what happened.
Our DJ made all our guests give us a hug…
When wedding planning, we locked down our dream venue without the prior knowledge that we would need to have it catered by one of the partnered caterers.
Getting a DJ you can trust is very important.
We found one we liked but they pretty much took up 75% of our budget. So, when looking and talking with my sister about affordable DJs, she brought up that my BIL had an acquaintance that was a realtor and did DJing as a side gig. She said he was pretty affordable and a nice guy.
We got his information and contacted him. He was very nice, talked about his job but how DJing was a hobby and he liked doing it. After discussing our tastes in music, the overall age range of guests, and if there were kids allowed, we felt pretty good about using him. My husband and I were pretty picky about a few things:
They are providing very detailed instructions.
We were going to make a wedding playlist we’d like him to look at and give feedback. Which we did and he did. Together we all decided the songs the wedding party would walk in with, our entry song, first dance, mother/son, dad/daughter, and overall dance music.
When he sent the playlist back, I noticed any explicit songs were now saved as censored and the family friendly versions. We didn’t have a huge preference and just let it go but we did tell him that it was okay to have explicit music.
Not everyone is into the same traditions.
We did not want things like the cha cha slide etc. Any “group” dance was not going to be on the schedule. However, it was fine if a guest specifically requested it. I didn’t want to block any one from it if they wanted to do it, but I know as the bride it’s expected I would participate and I really didn’t want to.
Because we are awkward people, we decided on not doing a garter or bouquet toss. I honestly didn’t even consider wearing a garter until the DJ brought it up. As for the bouquet toss, most of the women at my wedding were already married, give or take a few.
This is a lovely idea.
Instead I had seen the idea online that you have every couple slow dance, then the DJ begins calling out numbers of years the couple has been married.
If you have not been married more than the years called then you have to sit back down. Then the couple that had been married the longest gets the bouquet. Just something that resonated to me or maybe a good luck charm on my marriage or something.
They still could have done the ceremony.
For some more context, we locked down our venue two years in advance. In the following year, we decided to get eloped on a Hawaii vacation we were already taking due to stocked travel miles.
Also, I wasn’t at a job that had insurance and I was having some health issues. So, we thought we may as well. We initially only planned to tell our parents, but the loose lips of some parents let it slip that we had gotten married.
This ruined the whole plan of still doing a ceremony with reception because it would really just be a one year vow renewal. Instead we decided to scrap the ceremony and save the money to put into other things for the reception.
Some people are much more private than others.
I know the whole point of the wedding is the Bride and the Groom are the stars of the show. I didn’t really want any of that which is why eloping in Hawaii was so appealing. It was just us.
We were never ones to show PDA much besides holding hands, so everyone clinking their glasses for us to kiss in front of everyone we know felt so weird to me.
It is nice that they are willing to have the reception.
I understand that I didn’t HAVE to have a reception, but we had already locked it all down, both families were contributing a lot because they really wanted us to have a wedding.
And one that they were a part of. I think it meant a lot more to my husband’s family and why I felt so obligated. I’m the last of 5 kids, and all 4 already had their weddings by the time our reception rolled around.
But my husband is one of two and the other was not married, so this was my husband’s parents first child to “marry off”.
It is time for the song they discussed.
On the day of, everything was going according to schedule as we discussed. Music was pumping, people were dancing, all good.
I noticed the night was getting later and later and yet we still had not done the bouquet thing. Even my guests were asking about it as it was still in a vase in front of my seat.
I went up to the DJ and asked if he could please do the dance because older guests, the ones who probably would win, are starting to leave.
What is the DJ doing, exactly?
He told us to begin gathering everyone to the dance floor. This took a bit of time as everyone had already left their seats awhile ago and were in the middle of conversations and catching up with family.
Finally, after getting all the guests to the dance floor, the DJ made the announcement for my Husband and I to get in the middle of the dancefloor and have everyone surround us in a large circle.
Let’s see how this goes.
My husband and I looked as confused as our guests were. I was whispering to my husband if he knew what was happening or asking if the DJ didn’t understand what we talked about despite the positive reassurance he had seen videos himself of the same idea.
My husband whispered that maybe the DJ intended for us to dance in the middle while everyone else danced around us. I just looked at him with fear and glanced to my closest people in the crowd.
This is not at all what they had planned.
Then he started to play music quietly and told everyone to slowly creep towards us as the music got louder and when they were close to YELL and give is a BIG GROUP HUG.
As soon as I heard this, my face dropped, my heart raced in pure panic as this is NOT what we discussed and I am NOT a very touchy person.
Although the crowd was full of people I, for the most part, knew, having this suddenly sprung on me with zero warning what was going to happen utterly shocked me and I stood frozen.
Honestly, this seems awful.
I looked at my husband to whisper if this is some stupid thing he or his buddies did but he looked just as shocked and uncomfortable as I did.
And so, with quiet music that inched louder and 120 of our closest friends and family surrounding us and creeped towards us, we were suddenly engulfed in a roaring crowd of very uncomfortable, confused, and drunk laughter.
So, he did know what the bouquet dance was. Why did he do this other thing?
While being squeezed by a large group, teetering different ways and different amounts of weight distribution pushed on me, I just hugged onto my husband and whispered “What is happening?” over and over.
When the DJ finally announced to release us and said he could really feel the love is when he began the announcement for the bouquet dance.
At least things went well after that.
That went great, my aunt and uncle won as they were nearing 50 years at the time.
I felt like I could barely focus on the dance. Later I had my sibling come up to me and laugh about how “odd the hug thing” was and asking if we set that up.
It is prolly best that they just let it go.
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I said no and I genuinely did not know what was happening. I said I wasn’t sure who suggested that but whoever it was clearly did not know my husband and I that well.
They agreed and the night carried on with that memory becoming extremely suppressed.
I didn’t really bring it up with the DJ. I’m not confrontational and it’s not like it hurt to have happen but it’s definitely not something my husband or I consented to.
It is a great tradition for some people, just not these people.
Later I did get an email asking how he did and to leave a review. He made mention in the email that he had seen the hug thing online and he thought is would be “perfect” to make us feel loved and special.
Overall, I gave the guy a good review. He’s a good guy and maybe another couple would thing that was nice or cute? I just felt awkward, uncomfortable, and offput.
Nah, this really would be awful for people who are more introverted.
I think I just would have felt better if someone warned me I was going to feel like a mouse surrounded by hungry tigers sneaking up on me then pouncing.
I’m trying my best to explain it without sounded like a brat or something. I’m starting to gaslight myself that maybe it wasn’t weird and I made it weird?
But yeah 🤷🏼♀️ Anyways, I’m going to go back to forgetting about that now.
The DJ didn’t mean any harm, but he should realize that not everyone loves being touched or being the center of attention.
Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about this situation.
Some people would love it according to this commenter.
This does come across as weird.
Lots of people would hate this type of thing.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a kis who cooks and pays rent, so doesn’t think they should have to do the dishes, too.
They should mention it to the DJ so he doesn’t do it with another client.
This person loves her original bouquet dance idea.
At least they didn’t let it ruin their whole day.
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