July 21, 2024 at 3:48 am

She Told Her Husband That Her Mother And Disabled Brother Would Live With Them One Day, But Now Hubby Isn’t On Board With Her Plans

by Jayne Elliott

Source: Reddit/AITA/Pexels/Afif Ramdhasuma

In today’s story, a wife claims she warned her husband before they got married that she would one day have to help take care of her mother and brother.

Now that someday is almost today, the family tension is increasing.

Let’s see why she threatened her husband…

AITAH For giving my husband an ultimatum when it comes to my mom and disabled brother living with us?

For context, I (35F) and my husband (40M) have been together for 15yrs of and on. Married for 3 and we have two kids.

Since the beginning he has know about my older brother who is disabled (cerebral palsy, quadriplegic) and about my elderly mother.

She knows she’ll have additional responsibilities one day.

I am the youngest of 4.

I have always been clear that there will be a time when I will have to care for them both.

My two older brothers will also take on the responsibility.

We will each care for them a few months out of the year so they are not a burden on any one of us.

Her mom knows it won’t be long…

Well, that time is approaching, my mom recently had a conversation with us 3 siblings about how she will need to start getting the help from us permanently as she is getting too old to take care of my brother on her own.

She is 74yo and currently lives in our home country where she does have help from one of my cousins who lives with her. He is the one that mainly takes care of my mom.

Her husband has concerns about his step-mom moving in.

Now, the issue arises that since we will need to start taking care of them on a more permanent basis, my husband does not want to have them in our home for months at a time.

He and my mom have had their issues in the past, but he does recognize that she has helped us a lot with the girls.

My mom took care of my oldest and did not have to take her to daycare nor pay for it as she would never charge us for watching her grandbaby.

He feels that we would lose our privacy, and that my mom would nag us.

She would choose her mom over her husband.

Now, my siblings and I do not want to put her and brother in a nursing home or anything like that.

So AITAH for telling my husband that if he didn’t like it then he would have to leave?

I do recognize that I said that in the heat of the moment as this is not new to him.

He has always known that at some point I would be caring for them. I even told him this before we decided to get married and he was on board.

It sounds like OP chooses her mom and brother over her husband if it comes to that, but to be fair, she DID warn her husband before they got married. Let’s see how Reddit readers reacted.

Many readers were on the husband’s side.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Here’s another pro-husband comment:

Source: Reddit/AITA

The husband’s concerns are legit.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Depending on finances, this could be a possible solution.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Her husband knew what he was getting himself into and should find a way to make it work if he wants his marriage to work.

If you liked that post, check out this one about an employee that got revenge on HR when they refused to reimburse his travel.