How much is too much when it comes to putting up with grief from family members?

And how long are you supposed to let the bad times roll before you finally give up on it?

That’s the big question in this story from Reddit’s “Am I the *******?” page and the young man who wrote it wants to know if he’s to blame for the situation with his father.

Get all the details below!

AITA for giving up on a relationship with my dad because what he can offer me isn’t enough?

“I (19m) never lived with my dad. He and my mom broke up during her pregnancy with me and he was pretty absent from my life.

When I was 5 my mom passed away and I went to live with her parents, my grandparents. The few times my dad got in touch or showed up he wouldn’t stick around or be consistent about it. He’d drop off gifts occasionally or call to say he’d be in town (most of the time he didn’t come after). I learned to accept it.

They were totally estranged.

When I was 13 he got married and I heard about it months after that and his wife was already pregnant. It took another couple of years but he settled right down and started being a present family man, just not with me.

Two years ago after seeing him post family outings and time with each of his kids, I told him I was tired of coming in last and being the kid he ignored. I told him I didn’t want contact with him anymore because he was never there for me.

He wasn’t asking for much…

We talked it out and I made it clear I wasn’t looking for him to bring me into his family right there and then but to focus on building a relationship with me. I said if he could find the time to spend a few hours with each kid in his home, he should do the same for me.

He told me he would and I gave him two years but it’s never just us. On phone calls it is. But he shows up with his wife and kids or just his kids and he plays dumb until I press him and then says his kids wanted to see me and his wife wanted us to all be together.

This situation really sucks.

Then his kids would talk my ear off and his wife would too but I’d barely interact with him. I told him that wasn’t what I wanted but nothing changed so now I’m just like, this isn’t good enough for me and I’d rather no contact than this.

I told him and he begged me to reconsider and I told him no. That I was done with him making time for his other kids when he has never made that time for me. He tried to message me a few times but I blocked him in the end.

Then his wife called and asked me what kind of heartless person turns away from their younger siblings and hurts them by severing ties over an adults mistakes. I blocked her too but her message stayed in my head a bit.

I don’t feel guilty for my choice but maybe that makes me an *******.

Maybe even cutting ties with my dad over this was an ******* move because he sorta tried and some people don’t even get that. I just didn’t get what I wanted and it wasn’t worth it to me when there was no chance for us to bond.

AITA?”

This is what readers had to say.

This person said he’s NTA.

Another individual chimed in.

This Reddit user didn’t hold back.

Another person weighed in.

And this reader spoke up.

Sometimes, you just have to cut certain people off.

If you liked that story, check out this post about an oblivious CEO who tells a web developer to “act his wage”… and it results in 30% of the workforce being laid off.