After a childhood spent searching for the father taken from her at age three, an 18-year-old finally found him…and their emotional virtual reunion felt like everything she’d ever hoped for.

But every attempt to meet in person hits the same roadblock: his wife.

She refuses to let him travel, even for a few days, leaving the daughter feeling rejected all over again.
Now, with her 19th birthday plans falling apart, she’s wondering if she needs to draw a line.

WIBTA for telling my dad to pick between me and his wife?

I (18f) haven’t seen my dad since I was 3.

He had me at a young age and I was taken away from him.

I spent my entire life building up this image of him and fantasizing that he would come rescue me from my home. (I grew up in a very abusive house and got removed at age 14).

Yikes.

From age 12 to 17, I searched all over the internet trying to find him, but I didn’t know anything about him so it was pointless.

Eventually, after years and years of searching, at age 17 I found him.

It was a sweet and tear filled virtual reunion. He told me how much he missed me and how much he loves me.

Wow, couldn’t be more perfect.

All was well until the first time I asked to meet him in person. He told me something about his wife being the reason he can’t.

It has been over a year since that time, and I asked him if he would meet up with me for my 19th birthday coming up. It was a whole plan.

Today I messaged him so I could finalize details and get ready to buy my plane ticket. (We were going to meet in my hometown because it’s the closest I can get to where he lives. I can’t stay in his house so I have to stay with someone else due to financial issues.)

Something tells me this doesn’t end well.

He messaged me back to tell me that his wife doesn’t want him to come because she will be anxious and lonely for the few days that he is gone and she cannot come with him.

This is not the first time she has kept him from meeting me. I am debating telling him that if he constantly chooses her small temporary issues over meeting his long lost daughter, I don’t need him in my life, because I am so tired of the heartbreak and feeling like he doesn’t love me after finally feeling like I have a parent.

WIBTA if I told him to pick her or me in this situation?

Most readers felt her pain is valid. Someone can only handle so much disappointment before setting boundaries.

This person offers up two options.

This person says be it as it may, but still NTA.

And this person says to heck with him.

Hard to build a bond with a dad who keeps choosing someone else’s comfort over his daughter’s existence.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.