This couple shares a home, a life, and a bank account, so job stability matters to both of them.

When one partner began missing work frequently due to illness, concern about finances and job security started to build.

On a morning marked by nausea and calling out yet again, that concern finally came to the surface.
What started as problem-solving quickly turned into conflict.

WIBTA for not apologizing?

My partner (F 30s) and I (F 20s) live together and pay bills out of a shared account. She started a job in early November that she enjoys. We don’t have much in savings so we need our jobs.

In the past three weeks, my partner has missed at least one day out of the week for various reasons (period cramps/nausea, bad cold, etc). For the cold, she missed three days in a row.

Besides missing work, she has also left work early a couple of times for the same reasons.

Slacking much?

The conflict: yesterday morning, she woke up feeling nauseous. She wakes up earlier than me, so when I got up, she was already trying to control the nausea. I asked if she was gonna be late and she told me she already called off.

I got upset because I am concerned about her losing her job at this point. I spent some time looking up how to get rid of nausea fast and we tried some methods (we didn’t have anti nausea medicine).

None of them worked and she ended up throwing up.

Oof.

I asked if she could maybe give it an hour or two until she felt better (her nausea usually goes away after the morning) or try to go in for the last half of the day.

She said no and that she wouldn’t want to do the hour long drive for 4 hours of work. I said it would make a difference to show up at all vs calling out for the full day.

Then I asked if she would text her boss and tell him that she’d try her hardest to come in for the second half of the day. My reasoning was, even if she doesn’t make it in, it shows her boss that she’s trying.

Hmmm…

She also refused this. I said we should compromise and she kept responding with “I hear your concerns”. That basically means no whenever she says that.

This morning, she tried to get to work on time and got sick and dirtied her clothes. She came home and was upset and embarrassed.

I feel sorry that she got sick and felt embarrassed. But, I don’t know that I need to apologize for pushing her to try to go to work or communicate with her boss.

Welp.

I genuinely wanted to compromise yesterday. And, if I had known she felt unwell today, I would’ve suggested again that she try going in the later half of the day when she feels better.

I know it’s not my job/not my life, but it effects me so I feel I should have at least some say.

She’s upset with me and I need advice.

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Needless to say… Reddit is NOT on her side.

This person says to always STAY HOME when sick. Please.

This person says health > work, always.

And this person thinks this is way too much micromanaging.

Pushing someone to perform while they’re actively sick isn’t compromise—it’s pressure.

If you liked that post, check out this one about an employee that got revenge on HR when they refused to reimburse his travel.