Dealing with difficult coworkers is all too often a necessary evil that accompanies the already mounting regular requirements of a job. Despite the existence of HR, there is rarely a universally effective way to get people like this to step off.

How do you handle putting nasty coworkers in their place, without ruffling too many feathers? One guy recently shared an awkward interaction he had with his workplace bully, which ironically seemed to stall her behavior. Here’s what happened.

Got called performative by a co worker…

I’m a male and I do like acting, but I’m always so polite to everyone and anxious around groups of people, so I try to be kind and polite.

Is performative a compliment?

Unfortunately, not in this day and age.

Like, good at presentations and things?

Or was it meant rudely?

It was likely the latter.

I just replied: “Thank you” and she seemed suprised.

I don’t get why she would say this.

She also mocked me for squeezing my water bottle too tightly in front of everyone.

This lady needs to focus on her own issues.

It’s something I don’t know I’m doing, but I do it when I’m anxious and so the water bottle is bent.

It didn’t seem very kind.

It probably wasn’t meant to be.

Another coworker Skyped her when she was not in one day, and the manager was on lunch break.

It was just us and he asked if I wanted to come say hi to her and I didn’t, so he said: “How strange”…

Urghhh just want them all to leave me alone.

This workplace environment seems exhausting.

I wear headphones all the time to try stay in my own world.

Why does being in corporate mean you have to be a social buttery and everything you do is being assessed socially to fit a standard expectation?

This expectation, in reality, is the most “performative” aspect of a job.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a man who refused to keep giving his coworker rides to work because he left a mess in his car.

Let’s see if Reddit could offer any words of wisdom.

The comments immediately jumped to offer advice.

One person provided some solid validation.

Another issued an important reminder.

Someone else reiterated a valid point.

And one person assigned their own meaning to the word.

His nonchalance is going to run circles around her.