A grandmother who refuses to use her grandchild’s preferred name is one thing. A grandmother who keeps buying personalized items with the wrong name after being told they’ll never be worn is another situation entirely.

This mom dealt with both for years before finally cleaning out the closet and donating the pile to someone who could actually use it.

But when news of the donation got back to the grandmother faster than expected, and the dramatic family reaction that followed said a lot about whose side everyone was on.

Read on to find out what happened next.

AITA for giving away gifts because they had the wrong name

My husband (30) and I (30) have a 3-year-old son together.

My in-laws have a tradition where they take their dad’s middle name as their first name and they go by their middle name.

For example, my husband’s name is West Allen and he goes by Allen, and our son is Allen Dean and he would go by Dean.

At first, she didn’t mind the tradition, but soon she started having second thoughts.

I was happy to be part of the tradition since I knew it meant a lot to my husband and in-laws. His middle name came from my grandpa.

I was happy but also felt like his name wasn’t his own.

So she found a way to still retain a little individuality for her son.

We didn’t tell anyone until my son was born that although his legal name is still Allen Dean, he would go by AD.

I can’t express how happy I am to call him AD, and luckily most people were happy too, except one.

Even before he was actually born, the rest of the family seemed to have their own vision for her son.

Before he was born, my mom was so excited she got custom made everything with the name Dean on it.

I accepted them not knowing until later that we would be calling him AD.

So when she finally realized, she wasn’t happy.

My mom was clearly upset when we told her but I assured her that I would still use the items since it was so last minute.

I did not realize at the time that this would be a continued issue with my mom.

So much so that she downright refuses to call him by his actual name.

She calls him Dean whenever he was near her and in turn had our distanced family who communicated through her call him Dean as well.

So one day she confronted her about it.

After a few months of this, I finally asked why she won’t call him AD and she said it was because she had a resident when she worked at a nursing home named AD and he was mean and ugly to her and she can only think of that old man when she hears the name.

She hadn’t worked in that nursing home in years and only worked there for 3 years.

I told her that was crazy but she refused to budge.

Her mother’s stubbornness persists.

Years later and not only does she still call him Dean but she still gets custom things with his name.

Even though I made it clear that he is AD, she still gets him shirts and things with Dean on them.

So she begins making it clear how much she dislikes these gifts.

I told her to her face that he won’t wear them at my house and she just gets upset and says just use them as play clothes if I hate them so much.

I end up throwing all the items in a pile in his closet.

Last week I was cleaning out his closet and finally decided to toss out all the items.

She then decided maybe there was someone out there who could actually use these items.

I put it all together and posted on a Mom Facebook group if anyone had a little Dean that would want the items.

Someone in the group was friends with my mom and apparently asked her about the items.

My mom was furious and messaged me asking why I was getting rid of all her stuff.

So she was completely honest with her.

I told her that I have explained plenty of times that I wasn’t going to use this stuff and she refused to keep it, so I was giving it to someone that would.

She argued with me for a long time and I eventually gave up replying.

Then the rest of the family started getting involved.

Later I got a call from my grandpa saying that I upset her and that I should be grateful for the custom items.

I told him that my MIL got him custom items too and they have AD on them without issue.

Now everyone is trying to force her to apologize, but she doesn’t feel like she should have to.

I said it’s not that I’m not grateful, it is that she is selfish.

He tried to convince me to apologize to her and I refused.

My sister and one of my brothers also agreed with mom but I tell them all the same thing.

All this drama over a first name? Yikes.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about siblings who treat every social outing like a weird competition.

What did Reddit think of this dramatic situation?

Dean is his actual name, right?

Maybe clothing with names on it is a bad idea for kids in general.

This user thinks there’s more than enough blame to go around.

The grandmother had years of opportunities to use her grandson’s preferred name and spent all of them buying shirts with the other one instead.

At the end of the day, blaming a bad memory from a three-year nursing home job may not be the most reasonable approach.

But on the other hand, this mother did agree on Dean as her child’s given name, even though she’s decided to call him by a different nickname.

It’s clear this family was never on the same page about this name, and now that miscommunication is manifesting itself in this donation pile drama.

If this family ever wants to get on the same page with each other again, they’re going to have to improve their communication and stop holding grudges.