“You’re Treating Him Like a Child!”: Girlfriend Furious After Partner Cuts WiFi to Stop Brother’s All-Night Raids
Magnific
There’s a difference between helping someone learn how to fly and making a very comfortable nest for them to never leave.
A man shares that his girlfriend’s younger brother moved into their home after leaving the Marines with plans to go to school and eventually figure out his career.
The family supported him for years, giving him free housing, food, utilities, encouragement, and plenty of opportunities to get started.
But… The temporary arrangement somehow lasted nearly a decade.
Now, at 28, the brother spends most of his time gaming. Apparently he’s still figuring things out.
So, after years of waiting, the boyfriend decided to make one small change to the household.
But it caused a much bigger argument than he expected.
Read the full story below.
AITAH for putting a bedtime pause on the WiFi because my girlfriend’s 28 year old brother has spent nearly a decade rotting in our house playing video games?
Around 8 years ago, my girlfriend’s younger brother moved back into our house with his wife after leaving the Marines.
After high school he enlisted, spent a few years mostly doing support and base related work, then got out. His plan was to use his GI Bill, pursue a real education, and figure out a long term career path while staying with us temporarily.
We fully supported them. No rent, free housing, utilities, internet, food, and we constantly cooked meals for them.
We also helped with job opportunities, resources, and encouragement.
But he got comfortable.
The problem is that “temporary” slowly became years.
He never committed to school, never held a serious job, and slowly spent almost all his time gaming. He stays up until sunrise, wakes up around 3 PM, and avoids people whenever guests come over.
Meanwhile his wife worked full time as a cashier supporting both of them.
Eventually she cheated and left him, saying she no longer felt anything for someone who had lost all ambition and passion for life.
Cheating is wrong, but I understood how resentment could build after years of carrying someone.
This didn’t make him change his ways, though.
After the divorce he admitted he had wasted years of his life and promised he wanted to change. We supported him through that too.
Then my girlfriend’s parents moved back onto the property to emotionally support him as well.
The house was originally bought by them years ago before being transferred into our names, so technically it’s ours now but there’s still family attachment involved.
Fast forward to now and nothing has changed. He’s 28 and still spends nearly all day in his room gaming.
Some people keep enabling him, though.
I’ve brought this issue up to my girlfriend multiple times over the years.
Almost every time she either gets angry at me for bringing it up or says he’s “working on a study program” or “figuring things out,” but those plans never actually happen.
Her parents have also admitted they’re tired of talking to him because nothing changes.
At this point I honestly feel like I’m stuck in an echo chamber where everyone recognizes the problem but nobody wants to confront it anymore.
He decided to take action like an old-school dad.
Two weeks ago I quietly set a WiFi bedtime pause from 12 AM to 6 AM since me and my girlfriend pay basically all utilities including internet.
Honestly I thought it would affect nobody except him because everyone else sleeps like normal adults.
My girlfriend got upset because I did it without telling her. She said she couldn’t sleep knowing there was tension in the house because of the WiFi pause.
She also explained that growing up, her grandparents controlled things in the house in ways that made her feel like she had no freedom, so the WiFi situation brought back bad memories.
He didn’t budge.
I told her I understood that and agreed what her grandparents did was unfair. But I also told her she isn’t a child anymore, and neither is her brother.
This isn’t parents punishing teenagers.
This is a 28-year-old grown man spending nearly a decade avoiding adulthood while everyone around him financially cushions the consequences.
He stopped beating around the bush.
I finally told her something that came from years of frustration:
Somehow everyone can sleep peacefully while watching her brother waste his life isolated in a bedroom gaming all night, but pausing the internet for 6 hours suddenly becomes the unbearable problem.
She thinks I’m being cruel toward someone who may be depressed.
Never Miss a StorySign up to get our BEST stories of the week straight to your inbox.
I think everyone has spent years enabling self-destruction because nobody wants to be the bad guy.
AITAH?
He is the only one actually trying to help him. What did Reddit think?
A reader shares their thoughts.
Something to consider.
Good questions.
Another reader chimes in.
Yup.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a grandson who is tired of driving 5 hours one way to work on his grandparent’s investment property for free.
I agree.
I can understand why the girlfriend was upset that the WiFi change happened without her knowing, especially if it brought up memories of having controlling family members make decisions for her.
But I think her boyfriend actually had patience for very long.
At some point, “we’re giving him time to figure things out” became “he lives here and we don’t talk about it”.
After nearly a decade, it’s very clear that the current arrangement is not really helping him in any way.
Enjoyed this story?
Sign up to get our BEST stories of the week straight to your inbox.
