She Suspected Her Manager’s Boyfriend Was Hiding Something—So She Warned Him, but Her Mom Said She Had No Right
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It’s hard to know when concern crosses the line into getting too involved in someone else’s relationship.
One employee ran into that after her manager started talking about the boyfriend she’d been dating for seven years.
During the conversation, she learned that her manager had never met his family and they didn’t even know she existed.
That immediately raised some red flags, so she warned her manager that something about the situation seemed off.
However, her mom later told her she had no business getting involved.
Read on to see why she thinks her mother may be right.
AITA for warning my manager about her boyfriend?
I (20F) work under a store manager, Lacey (32F), who’s one of the sweetest people ever. She is responsible, kind, jovial, and is happy to engage us in conversations even if they aren’t related to work, so she is like an elder sister to me.
There was a day when business was slow. Lacey and I were cleaning the front counter as we chatted about a bunch of stuff, but it gradually got personal as she talked about her boyfriend.
She mentioned they have dated for about seven years and was positively chirpy when talking about him. I randomly asked if she had met his family to carry on the conversation.
She was shocked by Lacey’s answer.
I wasn’t expecting much because, in my mind, most people would already have met their significant other’s family if they have dated for seven years, so I was really surprised when she said, “No.”
This raised a huge red flag to me. So I followed up with, “Do his parents know about you?” I was shocked when she said, “No” again.
I was very concerned (for Lacey) and upset (at her boyfriend) because I believe she was being mistreated.
So I told her that’s really shady **, and that she should really look into her boyfriend, because it’s one thing if marriage is not his thing, but quite another if he doesn’t even want to introduce a long-term girlfriend to his family or even let them know about her, so she had to make sure he wasn’t already married or something.
Now, things are very weird between them.
After that, Lacey just stood there frozen with an awkward smile.
I told my mom about this, and she said I made a serious mistake. She said even though Lacey is nice and friendly and offered personal information voluntarily, I had no business butting into her personal life and relationship. She also said I was being too harsh, that if I couldn’t hold my tongue, I should have at least put it more tactfully.
She also pointed out that no matter how friendly we are with each other, Lacey’s still my manager, and there’s no telling if I would be punished or even fired for this.
I apologized to Lacey the next day. She said it’s okay and to just forget about it, but things have been awkward since.
AITA?
Oh no! She should’ve known better than to give an opinion on this.
Let’s check out what the people over at Reddit think about the whole thing.
This person suggests never doing that again.
As this comment explains, there could be more to it than she knows.
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Here’s a reader who would’ve done the same.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a condo owner who replaced a whole a/c unit just to stop the complaints.
For this person, the manager might have already suspected something.
She probably could’ve worded it a little better.
However, she’s definitely not wrong. Seven years is a long time to date someone without ever meeting their family or even having them know you exist.
For that reason, it’s not hard to see why the employee thought something seemed off.
But her mom may also be right. She should be more careful in the future about who she gives advice to.
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