A Casino Waitress Reported an Inappropriate Customer—and Her Boss and Co-Workers Blamed Her Instead
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This is the worst…
It’s such an awful feeling when you feel like you’ve been wronged, you tell your managers about it…
And then they turn it all around, throw it back in your face, and blame it on you.
Ugh!
What a terrible situation!
That’s what the woman who wrote this story is going through and she talked about how upset this whole thing has made her.
Get all the details below.
AITA that I asked for security when customer grabbed me and didn’t let me go?
“I live in the UK and I’m new to this country.
I come from a place where there is a strong belief that the further west you go, the more civilized people become and the more respectful the rules are towards women, children, and people from other cultures.
But my experience has been very different.
I started working in the gambling industry as my first job in the UK. Anyone who is a foreigner in this country knows how difficult it is to find a first job, so I agreed mostly because the Job Centre is an annoying place and I urgently needed money.
She was doing what she had to do…
My responsibilities included serving coffee, tea, and soft drinks, talking and joking a little with customers, and cleaning. Honestly, it’s an easy job, but since it’s customer service, problems can always happen.
Most customers are men of different nationalities and economic backgrounds. Normally, the atmosphere is friendly, with jokes, sometimes even vulgar ones, which are considered acceptable in our workplace.
Of course, if you’re not okay with that, you can politely ask them to stop or simply walk away.
She’s seen it all at this point…
I consider myself an attractive woman, so compliments, requests for my number, and invitations on dates are quite common.
Most customers liked me because I was friendly and open with them: sometimes touching a shoulder, holding a hand, or playfully hitting them when they made a slightly offensive joke.
In this context, you can understand that I am a pretty open person.
One day, I came to work very tired and in a bad mood. At the beginning of my shift, one of the regular customers started talking to me and asked if I was okay, because I didn’t look well.
I said, “Yeah, just look at my face — I’m tired,” and went to do my tasks.
About 30 minutes later, I walked past him and heard someone say, “Smolly!” I ignored it because it’s not my name or nickname. He repeated it louder, and I decided to turn around.
We had the following dialogue:
— Hey, I called you.
— Sorry, I didn’t understand.
— I called you “Smolly.”
— Yeah, but that’s not my name, so I didn’t realize you were talking to me.
— Do you know what “Smolly” means?
— Umm… no.
Okay, this is a bit creepy…
— It means “little hot girl” — you.
— Okay… did you want something?
— Yeah, fhahd.
— Sorry?
— Water. It means water in an African language.
— So you want water?
— Yes.
I turned around to get it, but he suddenly grabbed my wrist and wouldn’t let me go.
This guy was really pushing it.
— Stop.
— What happened?
— You’re strange.
I tried to pull my hand away, clearly signaling that I wanted him to let me go. He didn’t. I calmly looked at him, waiting to see what he would do. He kept holding me.
I took the radio and called the manager. No answer. I tried again — still no answer. The customer laughed and said, “The manager doesn’t hear you,” while pulling me closer and still holding my wrist.
At that moment, I started to feel truly unsafe. I called for security. Even then, he didn’t let me go.
Only when I was almost crying and security finally noticed me did he release my hand. I ran away, hearing behind me: “What a scene you’re making.”
Oh, boy…
I was shaking. The manager took me upstairs to the office and asked me to wait. Ten minutes later, the main manager came in. From his face, I immediately understood that I was in trouble.
— Did I do something wrong?
— Why are you saying that?
— I don’t know.
— I spoke with X. He was surprised by your reaction. I’ve known him for a few months and he has never been aggressive or abusive. No one from the team has had any problems with him.
They were blaming this on her…
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— He grabbed me and didn’t let me go, even when I tried to pull away and asked for the manager twice.
— He was joking.
— Did my reaction look like I was enjoying this joke?
— I agree, this is not an inappropriate bar or a strip club, and they have no right to touch you. But he considers you a friend, so he thought it was okay.
Then he added that he needed to balance between customers and workers. Since it was the first conflict with this customer, he couldn’t ban him. He suggested I talk to the man myself or consider changing my workplace.
After this beautiful victim-blaming conversation and a very British version of “maybe you should leave,” I went downstairs to talk to the customer and set boundaries.
He said he had nothing to apologize for and that I had put him in an uncomfortable situation, making others think he was a bad person.
Now, things are awkward at work…
A few hours later, I noticed that the whole team was avoiding me.
Then I heard one of the main managers happily saying to the same customer: “Oh, we’re always happy to see you here,” while they were laughing together.
And I thought: so he treated your employee this way, someone you are supposed to protect, and yet you welcome him and suggest that I change my workplace. What a lovely Western world, where women are supposed to feel safe.
Am I wrong in this situation?
Did I react incorrectly when a customer grabbed me and wouldn’t let me go?
Am I expecting too much from my colleagues, who, in theory, should protect me?”
Check out what folks had to say about this on Reddit.
This person said they’re NTA.
Another reader weighed in.
This individual spoke up.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about an employee who got back at slacking coworkers with fresh-baked treats.
And this Reddit user shared their thoughts.
No doubt about it…
She’s working for a bunch of jerks!
What is wrong with these people?!?!
She needs to get out of this place and find a new job as soon as possible.
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