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If you’ve ever had bedbugs, you’ll know just how much of a nightmare they can be. Because these creepy little blood-sucking bugs hide during the day – in all sorts of crevices including walls and headboards, and only come out in the night to feed. Sure if you’re awake you might notice the crawling sensation, but most likely you’ll wake up with lots of itchy little bites on your skin – and sure enough, if you pull back the sheets, you’ll likely find little red dots, where they’re literally pooping out your blood. Gross, right?

So if you haven’t ever had these little critters in your home, thank you lucky stars and take this as a warning – if someone has bedbugs, you want to stay well away until they are gone for certain. And that’s going to take time and money, because they’re really annoying to get rid of, thanks to the eggs that they lay too. So the woman in this story decided to put her foot down and refuse to drive her mom around until her infestation was gone – after all, she didn’t want them in her house. But that did not go down well with her mom at all.

Read on to find out why.

AITA because I stopped picking my mom up because she told me she’s has bedbugs?

So my mom (52) lost her license about eight years ago along with her car, and I’ve been her only way of getting around since.

I’ve asked her to use public transport for certain appointments, and I’ve also offered to take her to and from work if she would get a job so that she could save up to pay her license fines and maybe get a vehicle of her own.

She’s not willing to do either unfortunately. For example, when I gave birth to my last baby, I told her she would need to set up other transportation while I was recovering. She didn’t.

And not only that, but she blew me up my phone telling me she needed me and she was going to starve without groceries. I ended up driving before advised to get her to the store because she refused to go with anyone else.

Let’s see how the situation is in this family now.

So fast forward to six weeks ago, my baby is eight months old and my mom texts me to tell me she found bed bugs in her apartment.

I told her she would need to get rid of them before I could pick her up again, because I don’t want to risk them hopping from her purse into my car.

I did a bunch of research on bedbugs and my husband and I have just decided that it is not a risk we are willing to take, especially with an infant.

Then, when it came time for her to pay her rent, she told me she was going to be homeless because of me, that I was just using it as an excuse to never have to come pick her up again, etc.

And mom was about to get even more dramatic.

I offered to come pick up her debit card to get her rent money order for her, and also pick up any groceries that she needed, and she refused to let me do that.

On the 3rd she finally rode to the store with a neighbor to get her money order, and since then she has been berating me about how she has had to rely on strangers to get places and how this upcoming month when her rent is due again, that she will be kicked out and it will be all my fault.

Meanwhile, she has not started any kind of process to assess the bedbug situation.

In fact, she’s telling me now that we never had that conversation and she doesn’t have bedbugs.

Yikes! Let’s see how this gaslighting led to guilt tripping.

She’s saying that I’m just a bad daughter who doesn’t want to help her mom anymore.

Yesterday she finally asked me to come get her debit card so that I can take it and get her some groceries but at this point, I don’t really want to go.

She’s been telling me that she never said she had bedbugs and that I’m making up the entire conversation. She told me yesterday when she asked me to come get the card that my sister and I planned this situation so we’d never have to give her a ride again.

My husband says I need to leave her be to figure out her own problems. Am I in the wrong if I don’t want to help my mom anymore?

AITA?

Honestly, this woman’s mom’s behaviour is out of control.

She can’t seem to accept that her daughter is not her servant to order around whenever she needs something – and the gaslighting and guilt tripping, as well as mom’s weaponised incompetence, are all manipulative tactics designed to get her own way.

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And that is absolutely not the mark of someone you want to be spending any time with.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit said about this.

This person thought she was quite right to stop picking up someone – anyone – with bedbugs.

While others thought that the bedbugs were the least of the problems here.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a sister who feels badly about unknowingly encouraging her younger brother to play with bullies.

Meanwhile, this Redditor thought it was about time the mom figured things out for herself.

Genuinely, if her mom is treating her this way, cutting contact is not out of the question. Because it’s clear that her mom has been using her for years, enjoying her daughter being at her every beck and call. And it’s only now the woman has a child of her own that she is putting up some boundaries – and quite rightly so. Because bedbugs are a nuisance and mentally draining – as well as hugely expensive – to get rid of, and you definitely don’t want to have them in a home with a newborn baby.

But these bedbugs might be a blessing in disguise, because they have given her the opportunity to tell her mom no, maybe for the first time, and bear witness to the horrible behaviour that her mom is capable of when she is denied service by her daughter. Gaslighting, guilt tripping, lying, manipulation – all these things fall under the category of emotional abuse, and it’s clear that this woman’s mom is totally prepared to emotionally abuse her daughter if it means getting what she wants. And that’s not the mark of a person you want to be around, let alone let your child near – bedbugs or no bedbugs.

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Author

Kyra Piperides

Kyra Piperides, PhD | Contributing Science Writer

Dr. Kyra Piperides is a contributing writer for TwistedSifter, specializing in Science & Discovery. Holding a PhD in English with a dedicated focus on the intersections of science, politics, and literature, she brings over 12 years of professional writing and editorial expertise to her reporting.

Kyra possesses a highly authoritative background in academic publishing, having served as the editor of an academic journal for three years. She is also the published author of two books and numerous research-driven articles. At TwistedSifter, she leverages her rigorous academic background to translate complex scientific concepts, global tech innovations, and environmental breakthroughs into highly engaging, accessible narratives for a mainstream audience.

Based in the UK, Kyra is an avid backpacker who spends her free time immersing herself in different cultures across distant shores—a passion that brings a rich, global perspective to her writing about Earth and nature.

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