She Gave One Friend a Handmade Gift and the Other a Store-Bought One. She Never Expected the Jealousy
Canva
For hundreds of thousands of years, humans have been giving gifts to one another. After all, we’re a social species, and gift-giving is a very social behaviour. There are plenty of reasons why we might give a gift, and admittedly nowadays some of those are mere obligatory choices, but for the most part it’s a way to celebrate and honour someone that we love. It’s no coincidence that many of our holidays across the world involve giving gifts, as well as sharing food, because those two activities can be some of the most joyous things for a human being and the people they love.
So understandably, given her two friends share a birthday, the woman in this story spends a good part of the year thinking hard about what gifts to give. And this year, her two friends’ thirtieth birthdays, was a special year. So she made sure to put together thoughtful gifts that were specifically and lovingly chosen for each woman’s individual tastes – and she was really proud of the result. However, after the party, something seemed very off.
Read on to find out more.
AITA for making one friend a handmade gift and getting something store bought for the other?
I (27, female) have two close friends: Anne and Paige (both 30, female).
Anne and Paige have the same birthday and pretty much the same friend group, so they usually have a joint birthday party.
This year’s party was last weekend.
I love giving gifts and putting thought into them, and I’d actually been planning Paige’s gift for over six months.
Read on to find out more about the gifts.
I crochet and Paige has always complimented the blankets I make, and hinted a few times that she’d love one herself. So for the past six months, I’ve been crocheting her a blanket.
It took a lot of time and yarn isn’t exactly cheap, but I knew she’d be in love with it.
About a month ago, I started putting Anne’s gift together. She loves self-care and beauty stuff, so I made her a whole self-care-night basket.
Everything matched, and I included pajamas, a cute blanket with her favorite character, her favorite snacks, a Netflix subscription gift card and an Uber Eats gift card. I was genuinely really proud of both gifts and thought they’d both love them.
Let’s see how the gifts went down.
Long story short, after the party Anne texted me. She said she wasn’t trying to blame me and that she was grateful for her gift, but she felt like I liked Paige more than her.
She said Paige got this beautiful handmade blanket that obviously took a ton of time and effort, while hers felt like I’d just searched “gift ideas for women” on Pinterest and bought a bunch of stuff. She said it made her feel less important to me.
I explained that this absolutely wasn’t my intention, and apologized for making her feel that way.
She said it was okay, but that she still thought it was kind of ****** of me.
And this has left this woman in a really difficult position.
Since they had a joint party, everyone watched Paige unwrap this amazing handmade blanket, and then Anne got (what she described as) a “store bought generic” gift. She said the comparison made her look stupid and that it felt unfair. She was really disappointed in me.
Things didn’t escalate and everything seems okay between us now, but I’m still wondering if I was actually kind of an asshole here.
Paige’s gift definitely took more time and effort, and I’m sure that was obvious. But I really put thought into Anne’s gift too, and chose everything based on things I knew she liked.
Did I unintentionally make Anne look less important by giving them such different gifts at their joint party?
AITA?
Honestly, despite what Anne might think, this woman put a lot of thought into both gifts.
She may have spent a lot of time on Paige’s gift, but that’s because that’s how long it takes to crochet a blanket.
Sign up to get our BEST stories of the week straight to your inbox.
She also put a tonne of thought into Anne’s expensive gift, and it’s no wonder that Anne’s reaction is a little hurtful.
Let’s see what folks on Reddit had to say about this.
This person thought that gift giving was full of these potential upsets.
While others thought that Anne was the only one in the wrong here.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a mom who thinks her daughter should have planned a whole two-week vacation around her needs.
Meanwhile, this Redditor agreed that she’s been equally thoughtful with the gifts, and had done nothing wrong.
The truth is, she thought long and hard about both of her friend’s gifts. She also recognised that her two friends – whilst sharing a birthday – are two different people and have different likes and dislikes. She tailored her gift-giving to her two friends, meaning that the things that she did give them were personal, after she’s put a lot of time and effort into putting them together. And sure, spending months making a beautiful blanket shows a lot of dedication and effort, but putting the time and money into making a hamper with expensive gifts inside is also very generous, just in a different way.
All that has happened here is that Anne has got jealous, thinking that a handmade gift is better than a thoughtfully picked out selection of items. That is far from true. But the fact that Anne would bring this up, essentially insulting the gift that her friend had spent her hard earned money and time picking out and packaging up as a hamper for her, shows just the kind of person she is. It’s a real shame that after putting so much love into the gifts, this woman got a reaction like this.
Enjoyed this story?
Sign up to get our BEST stories of the week straight to your inbox.
