She Sent Her Dying Father Thousands Of Dollars To Help With His Liver Failure, But Stopped When She Discovered He’d Been Hiding Tens Of Thousands In Land Sales
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Nothing sours generosity faster than finding out the person you were helping didn’t need it nearly as badly as you thought.
A daughter and her mother sent thousands of dollars to support a father who was gravely ill and couldn’t care for himself.
After a scandalous affair years prior, the strain was real, but the family kept sending money because he was still kin at the end of the day.
But then came a startling discovery: the man had been sitting on a sizable amount of land, with one sale bringing in installment payments worth about $35,000. The worst part was he’d kept it all to himself without ever saying a word.
So, feeling extremely taken advantage of, she decided he wasn’t entitled to a single additional cent.
Keep reading for the full story.
AITA For Refusing to Help my Dad with his medical care
I come here to truly find out if I’m in the wrong.
For a brief backstory: my dad left our house about 6 years ago. My parents’ marriage fell apart after my mom found out about his most recent affair.
Her dad’s life continued to go downhill.
He moved out but stayed near the area until he lost his job a month after he left. He was fired for being drunk on the job. (He is a lifelong alcoholic, an important fact in this case.)
He then left and would come back at times to visit or drop off money for my little sister and mom.
At first, his estranged wife did her best to help him, despite everything.
During his visits, my mom would ask about his health and even took him to the cardiologist (in Mexico, we live close to the border) with my half brother, where he was told he had cirrhosis in his liver. That was about 5 years ago.
Over the years, my mom has asked him about his health and told him to get checked out.
On his most recent visit 3 months ago, he looked physically unwell, and my mom and I told him to stay with us so we could help get him some medical care.
But her father refused the help, which only worsened his condition.
He declined, saying he wanted to be in Mexico.
A week after he left, we got messages that his health had declined and his family needed money to help get him to the doctor. We found out he essentially only has 1% of his liver functioning.
Needless to say, he is not currently independent and needs round-the-clock care. The family in Mexico has been largely in charge of that.
Her family has really bent over backwards to care for this man.
Anyways, our family has sent approximately 10k over the course of the months. This has been a huge strain on us, but we did it to help our dad.
But her dad didn’t exactly return the favor.
However, last week we found out my dad had acquired several pieces of land. One he has sold for the equivalent of 35k USD that is being repaid in payments. One of the most recent payments was in the amount of 3k.
My dad has not disclosed this to us. It feels like he is betraying the trust we had in him to take care of his health.
This really doesn’t sit right with the daughter at all.
I understand it’s not my right as a child to know what he does with his money. But I can’t help but feel I’m being taken advantage of.
I refuse to send any more money until he uses all he has at his disposal.
So, AITA for not sending any more money?
Sounds like this daughter is making the most sensible decision.
What did Reddit have to say?
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This commenter can hardly believe what they’re reading.
This user agrees this is clear manipulation.
She needs to start putting her future first.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a sister who feels badly about unknowingly encouraging her younger brother to play with bullies.
This commenter can’t believe someone would do something like this.
This daughter has spent months being the family’s emergency fund, but the person she was funding forgot to mention he had a fund of his own.
Sending $10,000 to a dying father is a kind of love that comes with an unspoken promise of honesty, and this man broke it by saying nothing about the land.
His money is his business, and her money is hers, which means she gets to decide where it goes next. Stopping the transfers until he taps his own assets is a boundary, and a fair one at that.
Her wallet closes when his stays hidden.
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