One Daughter’s Long-Term Financial Support Hit A Wall When Her Mother Returned To Credit Card Debt And Became Overwhelmed By A $300 Bill
Shutterstock
Helping a parent through years of debt can make anyone terrified of watching it happen again.
After six years of supporting her mother, this woman discovered that her credit card was over the limit again.
That made a recent $300 payment feel less like progress and more like another painful cycle beginning.
Check out how it all went down.
AITA for refusing to acknowledge my mom’s $300 Visa payment and making her cry?
About 10 years ago, my mom (now 69) had racked up a massive amount of credit card debt. She was unemployed, facing eviction, and in a really bad spot.
At the time, I couldn’t afford to help pay her bills, so I moved her into my house with my husband, our two kids, and sold most of her stuff to help pay them down.
For 6 years, she lived with us rent-free. We covered her groceries, utilities, and basically everything. Every cent she got from the government went straight toward her debt.
It wasn’t easy, but eventually, she paid it all off.
Apparently, her mother had been using her Visa card again.
Once she was debt-free, I helped get her onto social assistance and into low-income senior housing.
She’s been on her own for about 3 years now. I still have access to her accounts, mostly just to keep an eye on things and make sure she stays stable.
Recently, I got a notification that her Visa was over the limit. This card was only supposed to be for emergencies, but when I looked at her statement, it was full of stuff like mobile games, restaurants, and random purchases.
Nothing necessary.
I called her to talk about it. I told her I couldn’t help her anymore and that she’d have to figure it out on her own.
(To be clear: she never asked me for money. She said she’d handle it.)
Now, she’s not sure how to feel.
But she got really upset when I refused to acknowledge that she had made a $300 payment on the card.
She started crying, saying she is trying, and I still shut her down because I was frustrated and didn’t want to give her credit for backsliding again.
Now I feel conflicted.
On one hand, I’ve already sacrificed so much for years to help her, and I can’t keep bailing her out.
On the other hand, she’s 69, she cried, and I do feel like maybe I was too harsh in that moment by not giving her any acknowledgment for at least paying something.
AITA?
Wow! It’s easy to see both sides of this, but her mother should know better.
Let’s see what the fine folks over at Reddit think about what happened here.
Sign up to get our BEST stories of the week straight to your inbox.
According to this person, she’s already done enough for her mother.
For this reader, it’s about giving people the tools to help themselves.
Here’s someone who thinks the tears were fake.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who feels hoodwinked after finding out the sick father she’s been supporting has plenty of money of his own.
This person also has a difficult mother.
This woman gave her mother six rent-free years and helped her escape crushing debt, so setting a firm boundary now is fair.
Still, she could’ve recognized the $300 payment as a good step without offering money or ignoring the careless spending.
One payment couldn’t erase the financial horror movie she’d already lived through.
Enjoyed this story?
Sign up to get our BEST stories of the week straight to your inbox.
