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Regardless of how old or experienced you are, parenting is always going to be a challenge. After all, you are solely (or with another person) responsible for the health, well-being, and behavior of an autonomous being. And that autonomous being is at times irrational and wild as they’re learning how to be human in a more socially acceptable way.

All that is to say that sometimes the kid might behave in a way that is out of line, and whether that has serious repercussions on others or not, it’s now your job to deal with it.

Back in the day, the solution might have been apparently to yell at or even hit the kid to discipline them. Nowadays, though, we know a lot more about child psychology and the right ways to discipline and parent a child, and hurting them (physically or emotionally) very certainly is not it.

So when the guy in this story, who has custody of his teenage sister, had to figure out how to parent his sister who was acting out after an emotional time, he tried his best to be kind whilst also being firm. But after talking to his wife, he’s not sure whether or not he’s done the right thing.

Read on to find out more.

AITA for stopping the door slamming?

I (30s, male) have a younger sister “Rachel” (14, female).

My partner and I have had full custody of Rachel for two and a half years now. My partner and I also have a two week old baby.

Rachel is usually quite easygoing.

But she had her first broken heart on Friday, and has been the direct opposite of easygoing ever since.

Let’s see how Rachel is behaving now.

She’s been crying a lot, is very angry, and not coming out of her room much.

We’ve been bringing food to her room, and giving her some space because that’s what she’s asked for.

Yesterday, anytime I tried to speak to her at all – her response was to slam the bedroom door in my face.

I warned her not to slam the door, she proceeded to cuss at me and then do it again.

So he decided to take action.

The slamming kept waking the baby up, so I decided that enough was enough. I went and got a pool noodle and put it on the top of the door so it doesn’t slam.

Rachel was mad, but she stopped with the door.

My partner says that what I did was wrong, and that Rachel should be allowed to “process her feelings” in the way she needs to. Apparently I’m “not understanding Rachel’s pain” by taking away her ability to slam the door?

Am I wrong for stopping the door slamming?

AITA?

Really, it’s great that Rachel has been taken in by her brother and his wife, and that they’re so understanding and loving with her – to the extent that, two weeks after giving birth, her sister-in-law has an enormous amount of empathy toward her acting out after her first heartbreak.

To be honest, this guy’s plan to stop the door slamming was pretty genius, and he should be commended for that.

They’re all doing a great job here in a turbulent time – and there’s no question that they’ll get through this together.

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This person thought he’d done the right thing.

While others thought that Rachel still had a lot to learn about feelings.

Meanwhile, this Redditor thought that he did a good job of teaching her.

Parenting a teenager is no mean feat, and when you’re not even the parent of that teenager, it can be even more difficult. But it sounds like they’re actually doing a great job of parenting his younger sister, and should be commended for that.

And by not yelling at Rachel or doing the extreme of taking her door away, he’s again doing a very good job by allowing her to have and express her feelings, whilst preventing her from doing damage or disturbing the baby too much.

Because after her first heartbreak, Rachel is clearly having a hard time – and whatever context has led to her brother and his wife having custody of her might also be underlying her emotional reaction to this.

In the end, they are respecting her right to have feelings and her right to slam her door, but by muffling the slam instead of punishing her, he’s actually serving her very well.

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Author

Kyra Piperides

Kyra Piperides, PhD | Contributing Science Writer

Dr. Kyra Piperides is a contributing writer for TwistedSifter, specializing in Science & Discovery. Holding a PhD in English with a dedicated focus on the intersections of science, politics, and literature, she brings over 12 years of professional writing and editorial expertise to her reporting.

Kyra possesses a highly authoritative background in academic publishing, having served as the editor of an academic journal for three years. She is also the published author of two books and numerous research-driven articles. At TwistedSifter, she leverages her rigorous academic background to translate complex scientific concepts, global tech innovations, and environmental breakthroughs into highly engaging, accessible narratives for a mainstream audience.

Based in the UK, Kyra is an avid backpacker who spends her free time immersing herself in different cultures across distant shores—a passion that brings a rich, global perspective to her writing about Earth and nature.

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