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Choosing a best man and a ring bearer is an important decision.

When his neighbor got married, he served as the best man, and he was happy to do it. Now that he is getting married, however, his neighbor expects that he should be the best man and his son should be the ring bearer.

Unfortunately, the man in this story wants other people in those roles, and he doesn’t know how to tell the neighbor.

The simple answer is that he just needs to tell him directly. It will be awkward, but there is really no way around it. Read through all the details below.

AITA for not wanting to make a certain friend my best man and his child as my ring bearer?

Hey there, this is a bit of a situation where I think I am in the right but I feel like I need some guidance.

This is very nice of him.

Around October 2019, my friend/neighbor told me that he was flying to China in January to get married, he told me that no one was flying on his behalf, not even his family.

So I told him that I would fly with him as it would give him a friend at least to be at his wedding and I always wanted to visit China.

It is great that he could be there for him.

The wedding comes and as I am his only friend/family there, he asks me to be his best man.

The only thing I did as a best man was hold an iPad whit his mom video calling so that she can at least see the wedding.

This is awkward.

Fast forward to my marriage coming up in September 2026 in my home city, and this friend/neighbor keeps asking me if he will be my best man. For now I have brushed it off, but the wedding is less than 2 months away.

I already asked 2 friends who were truly there for me on 2018 when I was going through a rough period.

This guy is making it difficult.

It means a lot for me to have them by side as I would not be where I am without them right now and I want them to celebrate this day by my side.

My friend recently asked me again and at this point, I need to tell him but I am not sure how.

Having an honest but uncomfortable conversation is the only way to do it.

He is a good guy but honestly if he wasn’t my neighbor, I don’t think we would be friends, I am not a fan of his humor and I don’t like the way he treats his wife, so I don’t particular feel bad for not asking him.

How would you tell someone who is expecting to be your best man that he won’t be.

This guy really thinks he has a lot of control over the wedding.

Bonus point, he keeps insisting that his son will be the ring boy. Mind you, I love his son, but he is autistic and has trouble listening to commands or directions.

He threw the remote control at the TV once because he wanted to change the channel, I have seen them have to constantly physically restrain him from doing doing something simply because he won’t listen to them.

There is no obligation to choose this kid as the ring bearer.

I am simply afraid that he decides to throw the rings down the canal ( we are getting married by the canal).

I am not blaming the kid, I know it’s not his fault but seeing how much trouble they have for controlling him, I feel like I don’t want the wedding to be delayed or worst ruined because he decides to do something with the rings.

The wedding is all about the bride and groom.

So, am I in the wrong here? Or I have the right to be a bit selfish on my own wedding day.

AITA?

He has every right to be selfish, but honestly, this isn’t that selfish at all. The friend is the one making the whole situation uncomfortable.

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Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about it.

The guy does seem awkward.

There is no obligation to include the neighbor.

Here is someone who says it shouldn’t be hard to tell the neighbor.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a man who finds his parking spot at a hocket game in jeopardy from a rude driver.

He really needs to have a conversation sooner than later.

This commenter says he is allowed to pick the best man.

It is time for an uncomfortable conversation. Hopefully the neighbor takes it well.

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Author

Michael Levanduski

Senior Contributing Editor, Workplace & Community

Michael Levanduski is a veteran journalist and digital culture specialist with over 15 years of professional writing and research experience. While his background spans emerging technology and complex technical subjects, Michael specializes in analyzing workplace ethics, property disputes, and viral interpersonal dynamics across modern digital forums.

Since joining TwistedSifter in 2024, Michael has authored some of the publication’s most widely read coverage on corporate policy, malicious compliance, and neighborhood relations. Rather than simply aggregating online debates, he brings rigorous research, organizational context, and an empathetic editorial voice to everyday human dilemmas—transforming raw forum discussions into insightful, highly engaging narratives.

When he isn’t covering internet culture, Michael enjoys traveling, keeping up with tech trends, and spending time with his family. Connect with Michael on LinkedIn and Facebook.