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Helping family friends is generous, but unpaid favors should never become automatic obligations.

This student regularly watched three children despite the stress and lack of reliable pay.

When a last-minute request conflicted with an important exam, saying no created far more tension than expected.

Check out how it all went down.

AITA for not babysitting?

I have this babysitting situation I’m stuck in.

My parents’ friends can’t afford to pay a babysitter right now, so I was brought up as an option, especially since I’m now an adult and could go over to their house to take care of them.

In the spirit of helpfulness, the student agreed, but it was a job they dreaded.

Knowing their friends are in a tight spot, I agreed to babysit their two kids.

The job is draining as I don’t really enjoy it.

The pay really isn’t that great either.

When they ask me to babysit, I get anxious and try to avoid the topic, but at the end of the day I still do it since I think it’s the morally correct thing to do as they don’t have anyone else.

I try my best, and it’s fortunately not every day, only some days a week, but I still feel like I don’t get paid enough for the job.

My parents and the couple work together, meaning I would take care of three kids, now including my little sister.

My parents had a business meeting with the couple today.

Her parents also weren’t the best at providing advance notice for these requests.

The problem was my parents didn’t let me know I would be babysitting until a few hours ago, and I had to reject as I needed to do homework.

I don’t believe it was bad to reject the job as I wasn’t even told I’d be doing it ahead of time.

I also don’t even get paid by the couple; instead my parents sometimes pay me.

So when she said no, things weren’t pretty.

However, after declining, my parents argued over it.

They were not expecting me to decline and had to readjust their schedule, as only one of their friends could go to the meeting now since the other had to watch the kids.

I could hear my dad saying I don’t even do homework all week and left it till today, when that’s not true.

If they had just asked me beforehand, I would’ve adjusted my schedule.

Her mother then tries to punish her for sticking up for her boundaries.

On the other hand, my mom was very irritated, and she ended up not attending the meeting.

I didn’t think it was my fault, but I still felt bad since I could hear them arguing over it.

I have a hard time talking about my feelings, but in the past my mom had encouraged me to let her know how I felt.

So I did just that — I talked to her, letting her know how I felt bad about the situation, but there was an exam I needed to do.

I thought she was going to understand, but instead she said she was glad I felt bad and proceeded to give me the cold shoulder as I explained.

This is all starting to weigh on the student big time.

I was confused and started to tear up a bit. I wasn’t expecting that response.

I took it as her implying that it was my fault and I should feel guilty.

She hasn’t talked to me all morning after this.

My parents had been arguing this week; it seemed to get better, but this made it worse.

Now I’m wondering if I should’ve agreed to go instead and things wouldn’t have gone this way.

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AITA?

Sounds like this mother was just throwing a fit she didn’t get her way.

What did Reddit have to say?

The parents should be the ones responsible for finding adequate childcare.

Just because you have children doesn’t mean you can order them around to do your bidding.

This commenter urges the student to keep their head down and focus on what they know is right.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a kis who cooks and pays rent, so doesn’t think they should have to do the dishes, too.

Strong boundaries are long overdue here.

This student was not responsible for childcare that her parents arranged without checking her availability.

Advance notice and honest communication could have prevented the conflict, while guilt and silent treatment only made it worse.

Free childcare is still allowed to be unavailable.

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Author

Chris Allen