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Living with family can be a great way to get a good roommate, but only if you get along really well.

What would you do if you had your cousin move in with you, but then you realized that she never cooked, cleaned, or even followed the house rules. On top of that, she was also very disrespectful.

That is the situation in this story, and now she has grown to hate her cousin, but she doesn’t know what she can do about the situation.

To me, the obvious solution is to evict her from the apartment and find a better roommate. Read through the full story below and see what you think.

AITA for hating my cousin?

So, I’m (18NB) sharing an apartment with my cousin (19F) for already 2 years.

Her cousin needs to learn to do all of these things.

She used to live in a small military town but she managed to move into my apartment and got into university.

She doesn’t know how to cook. I was the only cook for the first year, she doesn’t know how to make her own bed, she doesn’t know how to mop the floor, she won’t wash the dishes if I don’t do all of this the way I do everything will be dirty.

Lots of people pick up bad habits when they get some freedom.

As soon as she moved in, she started smoking (and even in OUR apartment even though I told her about my allergies) and drinking. She would invite her friends to our apartment to drink and I had to keep an eye on them and clean up after them

She gave each of her friends and boyfriends MY ADDRESS because the apartment is actually mine and I’ll be living here for a very long time while she’ll move out after the new year.

Well, she is allowed to have friends over.

Now her friends and the boyfriend sometimes come to visit her. For example a couple of weeks ago two guys came to her birthday AT 1 AM to celebrate and she wasn’t even there. She was with her boyfriend.

Back at the beginning, when she first moved in, I asked her not to make me nervous because I’m a terrible paranoid with OCD and stuff like this triggers me very bad and I told her that!

Of course, her friends aren’t great people.

Now her friends, they’re terrible people just like her. Every single one of them is a racist and homophobic.

I literally have nothing to add they’re just like that and my cousin doesn’t mind at all she doesn’t filter her friends, the main thing for her is having a good time.

Why does she let her stay there?

She never respected me, she constantly misgendering me (sometimes on purpose—she emphasizes the word “sister” in a special tone (in some cultures “cousin” and “sister” is the same word).

She called me  inhuman because I don’t wear makeup and don’t put on my best clothes just to visit my mom.

Outing her would put her in real danger.

Once we had a fight over some nonsense. I admit that I was to blame for the argument, but she resorted to personal attacks saying she would tell my mother “who I consider myself to be” and “what surgeries I’m planning to have done” which completely destroyed my trust in her.

She was the literally the only relative that I trusted enough to come out to and she did THIS? Mind you in country that we live I can get into jail for 7 years for this, my mom is a raging homophobe and transphobe.

There is no reason to let her stay living there.

I kind of know I’m not in the wrong here, but my problems with her at first was just her not cleaning apartment she’s live in, but she has become terribly rude.

She’s violating my boundaries. Okay, it’s her life, but her lifestyle affects mine. She doesn’t respect my identity and humiliates me.

Her having a hard life does not justify what she is doing.

I know she grew up in horrible conditions, her mother was an alcoholic and she raised her two siblings on her own she couldn’t stand up for herself.

But I don’t want to suffer just because now she wants to do whatever she wants and say whatever she wants?

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AITA?

No, she shouldn’t even let her cousin stay living there if that is how she is going to act.

Take a look at the comments from people below to get additional perspective.

Why would she even think about letting her cousin stay?

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a person who changed their minds about donated items, only to return to the shop to find them all sold.

Yup, kick her out immediately.

This commenter says her cousin seems awful.

She has no reason to let her cousin remain in that apartment. Evict her immediately.

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Author

Michael Levanduski

Senior Contributing Editor, Workplace & Community

Michael Levanduski is a veteran journalist and digital culture specialist with over 15 years of professional writing and research experience. While his background spans emerging technology and complex technical subjects, Michael specializes in analyzing workplace ethics, property disputes, and viral interpersonal dynamics across modern digital forums.

Since joining TwistedSifter in 2024, Michael has authored some of the publication’s most widely read coverage on corporate policy, malicious compliance, and neighborhood relations. Rather than simply aggregating online debates, he brings rigorous research, organizational context, and an empathetic editorial voice to everyday human dilemmas—transforming raw forum discussions into insightful, highly engaging narratives.

When he isn’t covering internet culture, Michael enjoys traveling, keeping up with tech trends, and spending time with his family. Connect with Michael on LinkedIn and Facebook.