Getting left off the guest list hurts, but getting a personalized “just so you know, you’re not invited” text probably isn’t the upgrade she thinks it is.
At some point, “Mom’s always been forgetful” stops being an explanation and starts sounding like a family catchphrase.**
Funny how “being a team player” always seems to mean his Saturday disappears.
At some point, “being there for family” stops being support and starts becoming a full-time unpaid residency program.
The general consensus? Equal love does not require equal access to leprechauns.
Nothing starts family drama faster than suggesting the kids might survive a frozen chicken nugget.
It’s hard to “respect your elders” when the elders are acting like the loudest kids in the room.
Turns out sometimes the “reward” people want most is just having someone act proud without sounding inconvenienced by it.
Turns out the real all-you-can-eat buffet was the serving of future in-law resentment.
If you have to repeatedly explain you’re “not being weird,” the odds are unfortunately not in your favor.
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