She’s Tried To Ignore Her Roommate’s Late-Night Phone Calls, But Getting Woken Up At 3 AM Finally Pushed Her To Want A Cutoff Time
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Sharing a college dorm room requires accepting that another person will occasionally annoy you. Maybe they leave clothes everywhere, hit snooze six times or somehow consume an entire semester’s worth of snacks in a weekend. What probably shouldn’t be part of the deal is attending their 2 a.m. phone conversations from your bed.
One 20-year-old says she actually gets along extremely well with her roommate, Sarah. They share things, enjoy spending time together and haven’t had any major conflicts.
There is, however, one habit slowly testing that harmony: Sarah loves a late-night phone call.
And these aren’t exactly hushed conversations under the covers. Sarah will talk and laugh loudly for hours while her roommate is trying to sleep just a few feet away.
The frustrated student has already tried a fan, an eye mask and even earplugs to make their shared room work.
But after waking up multiple times during another call that stretched beyond 3 a.m., she’s wondering whether it’s finally time to establish a rule.
Namely: at some point, Sarah has to hang up the phone.
AITA for asking my roommate to get off the phone
Hi everyone! I’ve never posted on here before, but I really need to figure this out. I (20F) share a room at university with my roommate (19F). For the sake of this post, I’ll refer to her as “Sarah.”
Sarah and I get along really well. We have no arguments, we share things well, and overall have a good time together. However, one thing has been bothering me from the very start with Sarah: how much she talks on the phone.
As I’m writing this post, it is 3:09 a.m. She has been on the phone since at least 1:00 a.m. and is still talking, laughing, and being loud.
My ears hurt reading this.
From the very beginning, I expressed how I personally have a pet peeve with people talking on the phone loudly and openly in front of me when things are supposed to be quiet. I can admit that this might be a little selfish of me, so I won’t be too upset over that.
But personally, if we live in the same room and sleep only a few feet away from each other, I don’t think it’s too much to ask for phone calls to be cut off at 1:00 a.m. or 2:00 a.m. at the latest.
Tonight especially, I woke up to her laughing on the phone and just sat up in bed. I hoped that if she saw she woke me up, she would quiet down.
That didn’t work, did it?
However, this did not work, and she woke me up once more. This time, I looked over and asked, “Is everything okay?” to which she responded, “Yes,” and kept laughing. I tried really hard to go back to sleep, but I just couldn’t.
I already sleep with my fan on high so it puts out noise, I sleep with an eye mask so the light from her phone doesn’t bother me, and I even slept with earplugs for a while until I lost them. But now it feels like my needs and preferences are being lost in the space.
On top of all of this, she never wakes up to her alarm.
Oh brother.
So this morning, she missed class and texted me: “Why did u let me lay back down?” I just responded with, “I thought you were getting up,” because she woke up to her alarm, looked at me, turned off said alarm, and then rolled back over.
Hot take: it’s not my job to get you up in the morning. I get up to my alarm every morning without fail, so it’s possible, I assure you.
I’m thinking if she went to bed earlier instead of talking on the phone all night, she would be well-rested and ready to wake up to her alarm. However, this is not the case, and Sarah continuously talks on the phone until she decides it’s time to stop.
This girl needs help.
I want her to have friends and talk to them; I want her to be able to talk to her boyfriend and stay connected with him, but I don’t know how to balance these things and also express how I’m feeling.
I’m really stuck in a tough spot because I feel like I’m not being respected in the space.
So, if I ask her to stop or cut phone calls off at a certain time, AITA?
Asking for quiet in a shared bedroom during normal sleeping hours isn’t an unreasonable restriction on Sarah’s social life. It’s a basic roommate boundary.
Sarah can absolutely talk to her friends and boyfriend, including late at night. But once her roommate is sleeping, she has other options: lower her voice considerably, take the call somewhere appropriate or wrap it up. Regularly laughing and chatting beside someone’s bed at 1, 2 or 3 a.m. isn’t exactly considerate shared-room behavior.
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The alarm situation only adds another frustrating layer, although it should probably remain a separate issue. Sarah is responsible for getting herself to class. Her roommate doesn’t need to become her morning wake-up service simply because Sarah stayed awake half the night.
That said, hinting clearly hasn’t worked. Sitting up, asking whether everything is okay and hoping Sarah notices the problem leaves too much room for misunderstanding.
A direct conversation during the daytime would be much more effective. Rather than demanding absolutely no calls after a specific hour, they could agree on quiet hours when calls need to end, move elsewhere or become genuinely quiet.
College roommates don’t have to follow identical schedules. They do have to let each other sleep.
This person says OP is definitely NTA.
This person says she’s in for a rude awakening (literally).
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a homeowner who doesn’t think their painters should use their water spigot on the job.
And this person says boundaries are necessary here.
If Sarah wants someone involved in both her 3 a.m. phone calls and her morning alarm, her roommate definitely didn’t sign up for either shift.
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