Mom Wants to Know if She’s a Jerk for Not Letting Her Teenage Daughter Have a Lock on Her Bedroom Door
by Matthew Gilligan
I was definitely not one of those people who grew up in a household where the kids weren’t allowed to shut and lock their doors.
We were allowed to have our privacy and our parents pretty much stayed out of our business.
But you know that a lot of parents have strong feelings about that kind of stuff.
So is this mom a jerk for not letting her teenage daughter have locks on her door?
Take a look at this story and see for yourself.
AITA for not letting my daughter have locks for her room?
“My (43f) daughter Lara (17f) has been struggling to focus on her studies with her brothers Kyle (12m) and Ryan (9m) constantly disrespecting her privacy.
A few days ago, she was yelling for Kyle to come to her room. I asked her what happened. She explained that Kyle flipped all her items upside down. I called Kyle to come and flip everything right side up.
Yesterday, Ryan was running into her room and kept stealing her stuff, while she ran to get them back. On the night of the same day, Lara was trying to sleep, when the brothers suddenly barged in and ran through it, resulting in her screaming at them to stay out and close the door while she was sleeping, to give a few examples.
Today in the morning, her father (48m) told her he didn’t like the way she was screaming. She said that she was trying to sleep and her brothers were making all kinds of ruckus. He told her that they are kids and they will learn. She said that they will never learn and the only way for them to learn is to have locks installed for her room.
He did not want her to and they went back and forth on this until she threatened she would move out as soon as she became financially independent since she wasn’t going to wait for them to mature and they should already know to respect her privacy to which he said to wait to include me in the conversation.
I overheard, and when she went to her room, I told her she wasn’t going to have locks set up because she already wastes her time without the need for locks and I don’t want her to fail. Lara said that they were never going to listen without them and I told her that I would make sure they wouldn’t enter her room.
This evening, I heard her shouting for me. We were all in the living room. Her father explained what was going on. Lara said that she was making Kyle tea when he did he’s not allowed to do. She said that she was going to tell on them and he said that if she promises to not tell, he and Ryan will never go into her room again. She didn’t say anthing so they ran upstairs to her room.
I told her that she has no right to complain since she always sleeps in Kyle’s room after school. Her brothers all agree and Lara calls all of us the worst, none of us are allowed in her room, and leaves.
She comes back after a minute and says that she only sleeps in Kyle’s room because he never uses it aside from sleeping at night, and if he was to use it for studying, then she would never go there. Meanwhile, they constantly disturb her, mess with her stuff, and made her unable to sleep just last night.
I told her if they ever go into her room, she needs to go to me. Then Kyle starts saying that they had the right to go into her room while she was trying to sleep because they were playing. Lara yelled at him, then said that she couldn’t wait to move out soon so she no longer has to deal with them. She also called me an awful mother for not giving her her bedroom locks.”
Now let’s see what Reddit users had to say about this.
A reader said this mom is an a**hole and that she’s not doing enough to control her sons.
This individual said it’s clear this kid is not getting enough sleep or alone time and that’s why she has bad grades.
And this Reddit user said it’s clear the parents aren’t doing enough in this situation.