June 3, 2023 at 12:35 pm

Is He A Jerk For Not Wanting To Always Include His Daughter’s Best Friend?

by Trisha Leigh

It really stinks when you watch people you know be lazy or neglectful (or worse)  parents. That goes double for when their children are besties with your children.

OP’s wife’s best friend has a daughter the same age as their daughter, and the girls are best friends as well. The issue is with the friend’s husband/father, who doesn’t do anything with his daughter or pay for any activities, etc.

OP works a lot during the week and so enjoys spending lots of time with his daughter on Saturdays. For some time, though, they have always included the daughter’s best friend because her own parents don’t have time for her.

I (31m) am married to my wife Amber (30f) we have a daughter Emma(7f) the problem is my wife’s best friend Jennifer (30f) has a daughter as well Harper (7f) well Harpers dad is a lazy sack of crap and refuses to do anything with his daughter. He is the type of guy that brags about how he never changed a diaper.

Jennifer and Harper are usually at Amber and my house on the weekends because Harper’s dad is drinking and watching sports all weekend. On Saturdays I normally sped all day with my daughter because I don’t see her as much as i want to during the week.

However with Harper being there every Saturday anything I do with Emma I have to do with Harper. Take Emma to the zoo it’s Emma, Harper and I. Taught them both how to ride bikes, takes them both to dance class, take them both to the kids salon, and so on.

This came to a head when OP bought Mother’s Day gifts for both kids, realizing that he was sacrificing one-on-one time with his daughter and that it was the other dad who really needed to step up.

Mother’s Day was the last draw, I took them both to dance class Saturday morning ( Amber and I also pay for both dance classes because dead beet won’t) on the way home Emma asked if we could stop to get something for mom for Mother’s Day, I said sure but then it ended up I had to buy something for Harper to her her mom as well.

On the way home I just kept thinking why am I buying someone else’s wife a Mother’s Day gift, that’s his job.

When he broached the subject with his wife, though, she shut him down and has been sleeping in the guest room to boot.

A few days later (because I did not want to ruin Mother’s Day) I told my wife that I am tired of raising Harper, her real father needs to step up.

I’m tired of it taking away time I get to spend with Emma. She said that Jennifer is her best friend and we need to be there for Harper.

Now she is not speaking to me and sleeping in the guest bedroom. So AITA?

He’s asking Reddit whether or not it’s so awful to not always have someone else’s kid around all the time – and they’ve got thoughts!

The top comment wonders whether or not the wife spends time with both girls as well.

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Image Credit: Reddit

This person suggests OP state he’s only taking his daughter, and that his wife and her friend can take the friend’s daughter to do something as well.

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Image Credit: Reddit

This commenter agrees, but thinks perhaps OP should ease into it.

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Image Credit: Reddit

And while this person understands OP’s predicament, they’re also concerned about taking that time and attention away from another vulnerable little girl.

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Image Credit: Reddit

They do think OP should tread carefully, just in case.

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Image Credit: Reddit

This is a tough one, because the friend is a kid who needs love and care.

If she’s not getting it at home, and you have some to spare, why not share?

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