You know those moments when you meet someone and you know you want to be friends with them before the end of your very first conversation?

Now, think of the times when you’ve experienced the opposite, and try to remember exactly what someone said to put you off wanting to every speak to them again.

Do as I say (in French).

My old french teacher in I think 8th grade.

It took her not even 5 minutes for us to hate her. “I dont like any of you, I’m not your friend but a teacher to annoying brats. You’ll do as I say when I say it and complainers get a 6 (Equivalent to an F) for this class.”

Her husband was a pretty cool guy though.

The most hateful tone.

I heard a 20 year old girl at my job trying to talk down to another guy because he’s in his 40s with no kids.

“You’re 40 with no kids! What do you know about the world?” in the most hateful tone. I’ve never spoken to her before and never will.

That’s not suffering.

After Hurricane Sandy I spent a lot of weekends cleaning out houses. It is difficult and backbreaking work, but also terribly sad. Because we just bring snow shovels into houses and throw everything away. What used to be someone’s home, their whole life is now stinking moldy garbage.

I was talking to a woman at a Christmas party about how difficult Hurricane Sandy was and she said. “I don’t feel like I have had enough recognition for how I suffered! I called the mayor, I called the governor, and no one cares about my suffering.” So I thought I would talk to her about it.

“Was your home flooded” -No

“Did you have a generator” -yes, two

“It was really difficult to get gas for them.” -No, my husband is a first responder so we were able to jump the lines

“It must have been hard though to have lost power.” -So hard that after 2 days I went and stayed with family at a hotel.

So this woman lost nothing, didn’t have to wait in the hours long line for fuel and spent most of the time in a hotel. And was pissed because the governor didn’t acknowledge personally her suffering.

Never not once.

I’m Asian and upon meeting me, for some reason a lot of people like to open up with a racist Asian joke and tell me that their Asian friend thinks the joke is hilarious. I have never ended up getting along with those people.

Also, when I tell someone I like cats and they respond with “sounds like you love p**sy! HA HA HA HA HA” I never end up getting along with them either.

Nepotism dreams.

Foremans nephew/ owners son (exchangeable for anyone who uses family ties to get a promotion)

Im in the union so you have to technically work your way up as a laborer no matter what because raises come from hours worked along with courses completed.

Anyways i was a lead on a large college campus for the State and we have this lil chubby 19 year old laborer with a bad attitude start at the site one day so i get him what he needs tool wise and tell him that material needs to be cleaned on the 9th floor using buggies. He immediately launches into this ” yeah well my dad is the foreman of this job and youre just a lead so ill just go to him so i dont have to do (xyz) job”

After staring at him until he started to get noticeably uncomfortable i asked him if this was his first day doing this? He replied “yeah why?”

I told him he can go on and get the fuck home until he’s ready to be a team player. Ive worked with his dad for many years and knowing his work ethics and moral compass for leadership he would understand my decision. His son calls him down on the radio with a smirk on his face thinking that i just made the worst career move of my life.

When his dad arrives he asks what happened, i explain curtly exactly as it happened and he immediately turns to his boy and said ” well ….why the f**k are you still standing here? He told you to go home, if you dont want to listen you can’t be on the team. Dad isnt going to save you”

Last i heard he gave up his dreams of being a foreman and works for Tesla now

No thank you.

“I already decided what to order, and sorry not sorry if you’re offended, but we’re gonna eat what I’m ordering. You’ll thank me for it.”

This was a person I was meeting for the first time

The way they walk.

I can tell almost immediately by the way a customer walks up to the register whether or not they’re going to be an a$$hole.

They don’t even have to speak. When they toss their items on the counter, that tells me everything I need to know. It takes everything I have some days not to toss their money right back at them. The customers that face all the barcodes up make up for those AH’s.

Insufferable.

A friend introduced me to a stranger at a party and said we should get along great since we were both into music. The stranger was in a band and I used to work as a sound/lighting tech. He asked why I quit music and I told him I got sick of working every single weekend and making garbage pay. I enjoy shows far more as an attendant than a worker.

He responds: “oh, you don’t love music. Which is ok, it’s just that if you really loved music you would have stuck it out. For me I couldn’t live without music, it’s just different.”

It took about 15 seconds of conversation to realize the dude was insufferable

Company Men.

I don’t like Company Men, or people who defend the company and higher ups to no end. For example, in a meeting one time an experienced Company Man starting ripping into someone who works in another department in front of everyone over a trivial thing that has no effect on Company Man.

After the meeting I expressed an opinion that the person was being rude, condescending, an unprofessional to a couple of coworkers that were in the room. They started defending said behavior. Instantly turned me off.

Turns out corporate agreed with me and that person has since “retired”.

Pegged it.

She was in a writers group. The comment was made that Finnigans Wake by James Joyce is a classically difficult book to get through.

She opened with, actually she found it very easy in fact, a friend of hers was a lecturer in (nearby famous university) and he often came to her for insights into Joyce’s work.

I suspected immediately a narcissist, pathological liar. I was right. She earned the nickname amongst the group of “11”, as in, if you said you’d been to Tenerife, she would say she had been to Elevenarife.

The next table!

“I believe that I have a much more developed palate than most people”, said in a very condescending, loud voice at a restaurant.

From the guy who was at the next table when I said that oysters aren’t my cup of tea.

It was right there.

Went to class with a girl that said she never microwaved anything because of the radiation.

I told her you got more radiation from eating a banana.

“oh, I don’t eat bananas” she said, with a banana peel on her desk!

I used it as an example because she had just eaten it! She also told the people next to her she got an A on a test, with th I test in front of them and that showing a D. And of course the one upmanship

That’s not a thing.

“I’m an alpha.”

People like to ignore that the man who coined the term Alpha was referencing wolves raised unnaturally in captivity. It describes antisocial behavior that doesn’t exist in nature and is harmful for the pack.

Any time someone describes themselves as ‘alpha’ they are just telling you they are narcissistic and selfish, and willing to f**k anyone over for an ounce of personal gain.

Pipe down.

Anyone who uses the volume of their voice to substitute for knowledge or personality.

She called herself out.

“I never have very close or deep friendships, i just get along with everyone”.

I didn’t dislike her or anything but i knew we won’t be close.

Later i found out she talks bad about people behind their back

Not me taking notes.

Even though my therapist says it’s ok if not everyone likes me.