There’s no question that living with a picky eater can be frustrating. It can be difficult to remember that they’re not trying to inconvenience anyone, and that honestly, no one should be forced to eat food they don’t like.

OP has made accommodations for his daughter’s palate, and thought that his wife – her stepmother – was on the same page. In fact, he thought things had been pretty good for their blended family all the way around.

So, I (39M) have a (16F) daughter from a previous marriage. For context, I met my now wife (37) when my daughter was 10, and she had a son (7M) when we met. Our relationship was great, and our connection was really present throughout our relationship. 5 months into our relationship, I introduced her to my ex (35F) and my daughter. My ex and wife were cordial, and my daughter warmed up to her quickly.

From what I know, they had a good relationship. My daughter grew up sort of a picky eater. For example She won’t eat things like oatmeal, tomatoes, garlic, mushrooms, barbecue ANYTHING salty, or sour, etc. She loves spicy food, sweets, and all that.

And you could not trick her into eating anything she didn’t like. When she was 13, I put 1 garlic clove in the melted butter I was using to make her grilled cheese. Idk how, but she could taste it, and I knew for a fact the taste wasn’t that strong.

Her taste senses amazed me. Oh, she also ignored me for a whole week after that and wouldn’t eat anything I cooked for her. I never tried anything like that again.

Then he came home to dinner that his wife had cooked one night and realized that his daughter wouldn’t have eaten a single thing on the plate.

I work a 5-8 shift, but yesterday I got off around 9 because my group and I wanted to hurry and finish our part of a work project we had. When I got home, my wife had already prepared dinner and left my plate in the oven.

I heated my food and stood at the island and chatted with my wife, who was with our son in the living room. As I was eating, I realized that my wife had cooked garlic stir-fried rice, barbecue chicken, and a vegetable salad consisting of corn, tomatoes, mushrooms, and spinach.

I stopped chatting with my wife and just observed my plate for a good 5 minutes. My wife asked what was wrong and if I disliked the food. Finally, after an eternity, I asked what my daughter had eaten because everything she cooked were all foods my daughter disliked.

His wife finally admitted that his daughter had gone to bed hungry but said it was her doing, because she could have eaten the food on the table if she was really hungry.

She was quiet for a few moments before finally saying that my daughter had not eaten since lunch.

Needless to say, I was upset.

I asked her why she didn’t switch up the meal to accommodate my daughter’s palette. She got really defensive and started saying my daughter was being dramatic and it was just food so she could still eat if she was hungry we argued and I reminded her that it wasn’t that simple for a picky eater like my daughter.

OP took his daughter out to eat and during their chat, he learned that this wasn’t the first time this had happened. His daughter had been using her own money to buy herself food when she’s hungry.

After a while of going back and fourth I decided to end the conversation by ignoring my wife, I felt that my daughter wishes were disregard. I took my daughter out to eat, I also brought her some sweets and we bonded and talked a lot.

I discovered my wife has been purposely cooking food my daughter doesn’t like. My daughter has never been one to complain so she has been using money from her paycheck and she wasn’t going to eat this particular night because she had no intention of pulling money out of her account savings.

Also? His wife hadn’t bought his daughter’s requested groceries, so she couldn’t cook herself something, either.

We got home around midnight and my wife was upset that I took my daughter out instead of convincing her to eat her cooking.

The talk with my wife went ok-ish. I asked her what was going on. My wife was hesitant as she didn’t want to have this talk at all. But finally she said she despises cooking for my daughter.

She also revealed that she had straight up stopped buying more than half of my daughters personalized grocery list because it was a waste of money and that our son what snacks that he wanted.

I was dumbfounded and asked her if she was just going to let my daughter go hungry, to which she responded by saying all she has to do is eat the food she cooked.

I don’t know what to do now, If she’s willing to let my daughter go hungry how else would she be willing to neglect my daughter?

What should I do now?

Does Reddit think this is a big huge deal? Let’s find out!

The top comment says OP needs to talk to his wife about why she feels this way about his daughter.

And this person thinks divorce is the inevitable result.

This commenter has a few things they think need to happen.

They say it’s the parents’ job to provide food for their kid.

And yeah, messing with a kid would be a dealbreaker for a lot of people.

I have to agree that this would be a huge red flag for me.

I don’t understand why it’s so hard to be nice to children.