July 26, 2024 at 11:51 am

Child Asked A Innocent Question About Her Grandparents’ Titles, And It Revealed A Dramatic Rift Between Them

by Benjamin Cottrell

Source: Pexels/Mikhail Nilov, Reddit/AITA

Anyone who’s ever been around a small child knows they’re basically question-asking machines.

But things can get uncomfortable when the adults in their life don’t quite know how to answer their many queries.

That’s what happened in this story where a child’s inquisitive mind unearthed uncomfortable family drama on which nickname is most appropriate for a man’s new wife.

AITA for letting my daughter ask my dad’s wife why she’s grandma and not grandma name?

I (30m) have three children with my wife: Lainey (6f), Rosie (4f) and Theo (1m). The kids have a few different grandparents.

My wife’s parents are divorced and her mom and dad are called “gramma” and “grandpop”. Her stepdad and stepmom are called “grandpa [name]” and “grandma [name]”.

We call my mom “grandma,” but she died a couple of decades ago and the kids never met her. But we still talk about her and they know about her.

Let’s get some background.

My dad is “grandpa” and his new wife insisted she was going to be “grandma” and not “grandma [name]”. My dad fought hard for his wife to not have her name added like the other step-grandparents.

He told me the kids won’t know my mom so why would I push his wife out.

His new wife had other demands as well.

She wanted to be given a mom title by me as well, but I only ever called her by her first name.

Lainey was asking questions around my wife’s family about why gramma and grandpop are married to different people and why they’re “grandma [name]” and “grandpa [name]”.

There was a logical reason for this.

It was explained to her that her mom’s parents are divorced and she has stepparents, so they’re titled a little differently.

She said her friends talked about that.

My step in-laws said they wanted to be respectful of her biological grandparents.

Then the big question arose.

Last weekend, my dad and his wife stopped by and my daughter asked my dad’s new wife why she’s just “grandma” and not “grandma [name]” like some of her other grandparents.

My dad’s wife told her it’s what she wanted to be called and she felt that’s what someone should call their grandma from their dad.

The tough questions continued.

Lainey asked her why she didn’t wanna respect my mom like her other grandparents wanted to respect her mom’s parents by using her name too.

I let her ask the questions. I said nothing. Neither did my wife.

This ticked my dad’s wife off so bad, which ticked my dad off too.

They say this is way out of line.

They told me I should have stopped my daughter asking the questions and that I shouldn’t have been okay with her claiming she isn’t a real grandparent or a real parent to me.

I told them I had always been clear that I did not consider her my parent and I was clear I wanted her to be something other than just “grandma,” but they insisted and I relented for my kids’ sake.

They told me I shouldn’t be letting my daughter question dad’s wife’s place in the family like she was.

AITA?

All of this must be very confusing for a child!

Let’s see what Reddit has to say.

This redditor has higher expectations for the adults in this situation.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Children are naturally inquisitive.

Source: Reddit/AITA

A child so easily called out the holes in their logic.

Source: Reddit/AITA

For the child’s sake, honesty is the best policy.

Source: Reddit/AITA

The girl’s seemingly innocent question revealed the many cracks in this family’s relationship.

There’s certain things you just shouldn’t force.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.