When a friend is in trouble and needs help, it’s wonderful to be able to help out, but sometimes friends might end up relying on the free help to the point where it seems like they’re taking advantage of the situation.

In today’s story, a single mom chooses to do laundry at a friend’s house instead of paying to do laundry at her apartment building, and it’s becoming a problem.

Let’s see how the story unfolds…

AITA for asking a friend whose house burned down she has to pay me to use my amenities? Or she should do chores?

My wife’s friend had her rented house burn down. She didn’t have renter’s insurance and the homeowner didn’t provide her any compensation for it, either.

She lost pretty much everything, thankfully she and her son kept their lives. If it matters, she’s 29, a single mother, and the child is 4 months old.

In our circle of friends we started a fundraiser to get her an apartment and we were able to prepay for half a year of rent and provided basic amenities like a couch, TV, two beds, baby stuff, etc. My wife and I personally donated $2,000.

The single mom has a few reasons to complain.

There’s been a lot of complaints from her end that her apartment is not good.

Specifically she doesn’t feel safe all the time (admittedly, to afford it, we didn’t go for the best of areas but still not terrible) and the laundry facilities.

I’ll admit it’s highway robbery: $6/wash and $4/dry in their small machines.

With a kid this adds up quickly.

I can see her spending at least $10/day just for baby stuff, figure it’s about $20-25/week otherwise.

The single mom comes over all the time.

So she’s chosen my wife and I as crutches in this situation.

She is over four times a week, usually unannounced, and as if to surprise us, always brings over two or three loads of laundry. She’ll come over, do her laundry, and while she’s waiting, talk shop with my wife while I work from home.

I feel like she’s being a choosing beggar with her situation and is falling back to us for laundry services. She uses our laundry machines, our diapers, our wipes (we have a 1 year old), our food, sometimes even our transportation (“it’s getting late, can you drive me?”).

On top of that, the added noise of her colic baby is driving me up the wall.

OP confronted the single mom.

I know it’s insensitive to be bothered by this, but I am.

I feel like I need to tread carefully because she had her house burn down but at the same time, I feel like we’re being taken advantage of.

So I told her just this morning in private she needs to consider doing her laundry at home or rely on other friends than just us.

She was about to cry when I backpedaled and said things are fine, just maybe do our laundry, too, or help pay for diapers, wipes, etc stuff she is using while she’s here.

OP wonders if he overreacted.

Sadness turned to anger and I got chewed out.

I told her I won’t be spoken to like that in my own home and told her to leave. With her wet laundry, child in tow, and it’s already starting to snow here.

My wife is none too happy but I think I was in the right. Or was I TA?

That was pretty harsh. He probably should’ve talked to his wife about it first, and they could’ve maybe come up with a compromise to suggest to the single mom together.

Let’s see how Reddit responded…

This reader wonders what OP’s wife thinks.

Another reader thinks this conversation should’ve been handled differently.

Another person thinks OP should’ve talked to his wife first.

Here’s another vote for OP talking to his wife.

It seems like everyone agrees that he should talk to his wife.

He needs to talk to his wife, apologize to the friend and then have a 3-way conversation to set boundaries.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.