What started as an exciting invitation to stand by a friend on her big day has turned into a financial and emotional strain.

As the wedding day approaches, mounting costs and a bride’s lack of empathy have this couple wondering if they should back out entirely.

With the clock ticking, their patience—and wallets—are wearing thin.

Read on for the story!

AITA for potentially dropping out of a wedding a month away?

In May of 2023 a long time friend of mine got engaged to her bf.

It’s one of those friendships where she and I are decently close (she calls me her best friend) and our significant others are friends because we’re friends.

They asked us to be in their wedding about 6 months into the engagement (November 2023) and we agreed, thinking there wouldn’t be much involved.

You’re about to be in for a rude awakening methinks…

When we got married we paid for the bridesmaids dresses, makeup and hair, and had a local wedding.

The groomsmen suits were only $90 a piece plus alterations so we kept it pretty affordable because we didn’t have a lot of money and knew our friends didn’t either.

Now to the issue: their wedding is in a month and they have put off every important aspect of the wedding until the last minute.

The venue was picked maybe 6 months ago, dresses were chosen 2 months ago, hotel was chosen yesterday.

Ah, the classic wedding planning procrastination.

They chose an out of state wedding where no one lives so everyone has to fly in and it’s adding up all at once.

We were thinking it would maybe cost us a few hundred dollars for everything but they aren’t shelling out a DIME.

After everything is said and done it’s going to cost us over $2000 for her wedding/bachelorette (which is only $250 each)/ flights, rental car, cheap place to stay, etc.

Not to mention that the groom keeps planning things in the wrong group chat and leaving my husband out of the loop on things like what day his bachelor party is and when to get a suit.

That’s what we call a real shot to the bank account.

I have dropped subtle hints about trying to mitigate the costs a little bc all of her bridesmaids have said they’re on a budget but they’re still having to shell out $1000 each.

Then when that didn’t help I outright told her we couldn’t afford to pay for a $400 suit.

That they specifically asked the groomsmen to get bc the place they’re going through said if all the groomsmen buy their suits through this shop the groom gets his free.

She didn’t acknowledge anything, only said “it’s not $400, it’s $329” and moved on.

Sassy much?

It’s been like that the whole way, every time I mention that the cost is adding up and it’s getting expensive, I get “yeah, well…..” and a topic change.

She mentioned the rehearsal dinner and I asked what the plan was since the groom’s family usually pays for that.

She said “yeah about that… his mom was going to pay but she’s not invited anymore we were just going to ask everyone to pay for themselves for it”.

That feels like the final straw.

WWBTA if we just told them we can’t do it and drop out of the wedding a month out?

We have two kids on top of this and we’re not close to homeless or anything but we have one income and asking us to shell out $2k while she offers nothing, not even a thank you, just seems very entitled and selfish.

When the friendship feels more like a financial burden than a shared celebration, it’s time to reconsider the true cost of standing by someone’s side.

Most people on Reddit thinks that she is the jerk here.

This person thinks that sometimes, friendship means sacrificing a little extra for someone’s big day.

This person says it’s way too late for that.

And this person thinks the concerns should’ve been brought up much earlier.

Lesson learned…

When you say “yes” to a wedding, don’t back out just because the bill gets bigger—friendship costs more than a fancy suit.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.