When a widowed man remarries, it can sometimes rub the rest of his family the wrong way.

That’s precisely what happens in this story when a teenager comes to prefer the company of his grandparents over that of his step-family.

When his father forces him to choose between his new family and his late mother’s family, a painful ultimatum deepens the family’s rift.

Read on for the full story.

AITA for telling my dad he’s the one who gave me the ultimatum so he needs to deal with the consequences?

My mom died when I (17m) was 5.

My dad remarried when I was 8 and made a blended family with his wife and her two kids.

Then they had two kids together so I have step and half siblings.

Unfortunately, the dad’s new family didn’t mix with his late wife’s family.

My mom’s family were a big part of my life for the first 6 years and then my dad and them fought because my dad had met his wife by then and he didn’t like their reaction to the news.

Essentially, he wanted to invite them over for my grandparents yearly family BBQ and my grandparents didn’t want to include them. They told him they couldn’t accept my mom’s replacement.

He got mad at them for feeling that’s what he was doing and he told them they could forget about seeing either of us again.

Then the teen got wrapped up in all the drama.

He tried to keep me from them, but they filed for grandparents rights and dad’s lawyer said they’d win, so he said I could see them once every three months for 4 hours.

It was way less than I was used to, but it didn’t stop me being close to them.

He invited them to his wedding and they didn’t come.

The father couldn’t accept that the two sides just wouldn’t, and couldn’t mix.

It ticked him off more and then he got super weird about it and he suddenly started demanding invites again for his wife’s kids when I was invited.

Then, when my half siblings were born, he was including them in the attempt to force my family’s hands. But they never invited them.

They did ask me if I wanted them there, and I said not really. So they didn’t change their mind.

This contributed to some serious bad blood.

My dad always complained about them whenever my visits would come around. He really hated that I went and my step and half siblings couldn’t.

He tried to tell me I should advocate for them all to be included. I never replied to him because it was easier not to.

Once I turned 14, he got worse with that stuff and he’d complain that I was calling and texting them and that I kept in touch more than the once every three months.

The father tried to guilt his son for his close relationship with his grandparents.

He’d tell me they hate my siblings, that he didn’t want us to have our family.

I told him that didn’t upset me or make me mad and it didn’t change that I wanted to see them.

So one day, the father issues an ultimatum.

The day I went back to school (senior year) my dad told me since I was graduating in May and I’d be 18, he needed to make it clear that I will need to choose.

Because I can’t keep spending time with people who refuse to include most of my family and he told me I’ll have to choose my family or “them”.

The teen made it clear what his choice would be, but the father thought he was just bluffing.

I told him the “them” were my family and I’d choose them.

He didn’t expect the answer. He got ticked and told me I should always choose siblings over extended family.

Then he acted like I hadn’t given my answer because he told me when he and his wife throw me the graduation party that I won’t be allowed to invite my mom’s side.

But he certainly wasn’t.

I told him he didn’t need to throw me one because they would and I’d made it clear my choice will be them. Dad told me that isn’t how it works.

I told him it is because he gave the ultimatum and he needs to live with the consequences.

He accused me of twisting his words and disrespecting him by throwing that in his face.

AITA?

These family ties are all sorts of tangled.

What did Reddit think?

This redditor doesn’t just name one good reason the teen isn’t in the wrong. They name five!

The adults in the story should really act their age.

You should never provide an ultimatum you’re not prepared to follow through with.

It’s not fair to expect the grandparents to take to their son’s new family after a family death.

In standing with his mom’s side, he proves family is more about support connection, not just shared genes.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.