Sometimes, setting boundaries with family can feel like a delicate balancing act, especially when you want to be welcoming.

So, what would you do if your mother-in-law kept showing up at your door unannounced and expecting to stay the night, even after you’ve made your boundaries clear?

Would you go ahead and let her?

Or would you insist she stays somewhere else?

In the following story, one family is in this exact dilemma.

Here’s what’s going on.

AITAH for making MIL either get a hotel or drive home instead of staying with us

We live two hours from the in-laws, but they still come to see us and mostly the grandkids a lot.

It’s to the point that I have asked my husband to help me establish the boundary of no more unexpected drop-ins, especially unexpected sleepovers, especially on school nights.

I believe this is fair, as does my husband obviously, or he wouldn’t have my back on this.

There have already been a couple of times we have had to put our foot down on this, but there are still versions of unexpected pop-ins.

It all started when the MIL waited until the last minute to ask about coming over.

For example, the day after asking about the kids’ sports schedule, they were just there without notice, and yes, of course, expecting to come right over after.

Which was awkward as we hadn’t planned to accommodate anyone else for dinner.

Today, she texted at 1 p.m. saying she was coming into town for one of the kids’ games and asked if she could stay the night.

I didn’t see this until 3 p.m., but even so, 1 p.m. seemed very last minute to me and did give me anxiety.

After her son said no, she let them have it.

My husband told her staying over would not be a good idea as our youngest has been hard to put down lately (NOT a lie), and she kind of blew up on us.

She hit us with the “Wow, OK,” “after all I’ve done for you,” and “I’m astonished.”

She also used her issues driving at night to show how selfish and mean we were being (paraphrasing)

I said it was not fair to try and guilt trip me when she knew my boundaries and anxieties before leaving, and it was on her to have a plan and consideration for us.

Here’s where they’re at now.

She is now saying we are not welcoming.

I think some people might think I am wrong because while it may give me temporary anxiety, being accommodating to loved ones is important.

We should be able to set aside our personal discomforts for them sometimes.

On the other hand, this was not an emergency.

This was not a championship game; she has made almost every other game.

If she wasn’t sure she could afford a hotel or drive home that night, it was wrong to assume she could stay over when I’ve been pretty clear about how I feel about that.

AITA?

It’s easy to see both sides of this, but the MIL was kind of out of line.

Let’s see what the folks over at Reddit have to say about this.

Here are some really good questions.

Harsh words from this person.

These are thoughts from a grandma and MIL.

As this person points out, it’s lucky her husband feels the same way.

She should really plan better.

It’s natural to want to be part of your grandkids’ lives, but just dropping in is never acceptable.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.