Imagine going to college without student loans. That sounds wonderful!

That could’ve been the situation for a teen in today’s story, but instead she broke one of her mom’s rules.

Let’s see how the story unfolds…

AITAH for holding to my rules about paying for my children’s education?

I am a single mother to 3 daughters. Twins 21f and ‘Alice’ 19f.

I told my daughters since they were in elementary school that if they pursued higher education, I would pay for it. They would not have to take out loans or worry whatsoever. This applied to any sort of program, university, community college, trade, etc.

My only rules were that they were to share their grades with me at the end of each semester of course and that they must go straight into whatever program they chose. No gap years or going back to school when they were older.

I always encouraged college, but in no way forced it.

Her three children each chose different paths after high school.

One of my twins took me up on this and she is currently a senior with a major in psychology, and my other twin did not and is currently in the tattoo artist industry.

They are both doing well, and I’m equally proud of them both.

However, Alice informed me while she was a senior in high school that she wanted to take a gap year.

When I asked what she planned to do during this gap year, she said something like “relax before having to be in the real world.” She said she wanted to go to college, just not right away. She also said she did not plan to work during this time.

OP told Alice she wouldn’t pay for college after the gap year.

I told her she had the whole summer to relax, but she held strong and wanted her gap year.

I said fine, but not to expect me to fund her schooling a year from now.

She brushed me off.

If she had planned to do something productive or literally anything with the gap year (internship etc) I would have had a different attitude towards this.

It seems that Alice didn’t think her mom was serious about not paying for college.

Flash forward to September, and Alice has done exactly that for the last 4 months, relax. She sleeps until 2 and has not gotten a job. She has a car and the means to do so, but simply does not wish to.

The topic of her going to school next year got brought up by her and she asked if I would pay.

I said no, and that she knew this. I told her I would be happy to help her, but would not be paying in full.

She blew up on me, asking if I was serious and saying how unfair I was. She yelled at me and called me a b**** for paying for her sisters college in full but not hers.

OP told Alice she “missed her chance.”

I reminded her of our conversation and how she knew my stance since she was a little girl. I also asked her if she had applied for scholarships or done anything to start trying to help with these funds.

She had not.

I told her since I was retiring in 2025, I did not have the funding to pay for her schooling in full anymore and that I had to start thinking about saving for myself and my future. I said she had missed her chance.

OP hopes this situation will teach her daughter a lesson.

She is very angry and has barely been speaking to me.

I feel bad, but I also don’t. I feel like this will be the first of many things in her life to teach her some responsibility.

She had her opportunity to have her schooling paid for and she knew this, but chose to do nothing for a year. She can absolutely still go to college and I will help foot the bill, but she would definitely have to take out some loans.

I’m really not sure how to talk to her about this. AITAH?

It sounds like OP was very clear about a gap year meaning she wouldn’t pay for college. Alice shouldn’t act surprised.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted…

This reader thinks OP’s rules are “pointless.”

Another reader thinks a gap year can be helpful.

This person calls Alice unmotivated.

This reader points out reasons to take a gap year.

Her daughter should’ve explained why she needed a gap year.

That might’ve made a difference.

If you liked this post, you might want to read this story about a teacher who taught the school’s administration a lesson after they made a sick kid take a final exam.