When you move in with a partner, there are certain learning curves.

You get to see them at their best and at their worst, and learn some of the habits that might not have been noticeable before.

Sometimes these things are endearing.

But other times you might find yourself a bit grossed out by some of the choices that your loved one makes in the comfort of their own home.

That’s exactly what happened in this story, in which a guy found himself pretty horrified by his girlfriend’s hygiene habits.

Read on to find out how this changed things between them.

AITA for being ‘disgusted’ because my girlfriend doesn’t wash her hair for weeks?

I am 28, and was in a long distance relationship with my 25-year-old girlfriend for several months before we decided to take the plunge and move in together.

She now lives with me.

Before she lived with me, we could only visit each other one weekend every month, but we called and texted every day.

She moved in with me about six weeks ago.

For relevant context, I am white and my girlfriend is black.

We live a very active lifestyle and we regularly work out, hike, bike, etc.

I started to notice that after she would work out and shower, her hair would not be wet and was still in braids.

I have a sister and I know women don’t always wash their hair every day, so I figured it was that.

This drama is only just beginning.

But then I noticed she still didn’t wash her hair the next week either.

Her hair is absolutely beautiful and I love her curls, but whenever I got near her head I could smell that her scalp/hair were dirty and unclean.

I personally am very sensitive about smells, especially the smell of a dirty scalp.

I have to wash my hair every 1-2 days because I cannot stand the smell of scalp buildup.

More time passed and it had now been weeks since my girlfriend last washed her hair.

While it might be mean to say, I was honestly disgusted.

The smell was really bothering me and I brought up the issue to her which caused her to fly off the handle.

Granted, I might not have gone about it the best way.

Yikes! Let’s find out what exactly he said.

I basically asked her point blank when the last time she washed her hair was, because it kind of smells bad.

She looked at me like I was insane and immediately started calling me racist and ignorant.

She informed me black women’s hair is different and doesn’t require frequent washing because it can dry out and damage the follicles.

I told her I understand haircare for black women is different, but that doesn’t mean her scalp or hair magically stays clean and doesn’t smell after not washing out the dirt, sweat, oils, and buildup for weeks.

This led to her calling me “a dumb racist” and she kept repeating how ignorant and stupid I am.

Read on to find out how this situation escalated.

This has really cut me deep because I do not believe I am racist.

Ignorant is fair because that is true, I grew up in a predominantly white area and my past girlfriends have all been exclusively white or asian with straight hair texture.

I had no exposure and I don’t see why a white guy not knowing about black women’s haircare is racist.

Things with my girlfriend are tense.

She has been washing her hair every day and saying she will blame me for how damaged her hair becomes because I have made her so insecure about the smell.

I have apologized profusely but things still aren’t well.

AITA?

Wow, this guy suggests that he meant well, but he just can’t see how ignorant he really is.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit thought about this.

This person tried to educate him on black women’s hair.

While others thought that he might be making a mountain out of a molehill because of his own assumptions and prejudices.

But some people thought that he was doing the right thing, he was just a little tactless in his approach.

While this person thought that the woman’s reaction was out of line.

This one is really tricky. Sure the guy might have been showing genuine concern, but it seems like his prejudices got the better of him.

It’s not her job to educate him about her hair.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.